Managing conflict

My Boss Won’t Make a Decision

How do you deal with a boss that has difficulty making decisions?

First, you need to fully understand the consequences of a boss that has difficulty making decisions.
Next, you need to figure out why your boss might have difficulty making decisions.
Then, you can determine what you can do about a boss that has difficulty making decisions.

Consequences of a Boss that has Difficulty Making Decisions

In most cases, people (both internally, and externally) become frustrated by the lack of action.
In some cases, unnecessary delays become emergencies. This is entirely avoidable.
Difficulty making decisions diminishes the credibility of the department or business.

Why Might Your Boss have Difficulty Making Decisions?

There are a variety of reasons people have difficulty making decisions. You need to figure out which one applies to your boss. Here are some ideas:

Risk Aversion. If your boss is highly risk averse, s/he will see every decision as an exposure to potentially undesirable consequences.
Perfectionism. If your boss has perfectionist tendencies, then decisions may be delayed pending perfect information. Unfortunately, most decisions have to be made without perfect information, which is a significant problem for perfectionists.
Confidence. Your boss may have difficulty making decisions because s/he feels s/he is in over his head.
Protecting People. Sometimes people have difficulty making decisions because they don’t want to overwhelm others. While this may be a bit paternal, it is a least well-intended.
The boss may know something you don’t. Sometimes, the boss may have information that you don’t. As a result, a decision may be being delayed for entirely appropriate reasons – just not reasons you’re aware of yet. For example:
- Perhaps you boss’s employment is at risk.
- Perhaps your employment is at risk.
- Is there a project announcement forthcoming?
- Is there some other announcement coming out?

What to do if Your Boss has Difficulty Making Decisions

First, you must realize that you do not control your boss’s behavior. You can however attempt to influence it. In order to do so:

Try to understand why he won’t decide.
- Is it occasional or habitual?
- Is one of the reasons discussed above the cause of indecision?
Do all your homework
- Assess risks that may be of concern to your boss. Ensure you have mitigating actions in place.
- Understand and mitigate the worse case scenario for your boss.
Consistently engender confidence and trust. If you have dropped the ball before, it will be difficult to get your boss to trust your judgment this time.
In some cases, you may want to say, “I’m doing this by this date, unless you tell me not to.”
Highlight that no decision is a decision. As paradoxical as it sounds, it is true. Some people think that by delaying a decision they are keeping options open. Most often, the failure to make a decision in a timely manner commits a manager to a course of action (whether s/he realizes it or not).

3 Things to Remember About Dealing with a Boss that has Difficulty Making Decisions

If this person is habitually undecided, s/he won’t change. You can influence, but you can’t control his/her behavior
There may be information you don’t have that fully justifies the lack of decision.
Be very careful about circumventing your boss’s authority. If you go out of your way to circumvent your boss, it will almost certainly backfire on you, so be careful.

Watch the ‘3-Minute Crash Course’ about Difficulty Making Decisions (CLICK THE ARROW TO START THE VIDEO):

Looking for the Full-Length Podcast/Video? …

My Boss Won’t Make a Decision

Join Jed and Bob as they discuss what happens when your boss won’t make a decision, why he might be unwilling to do so, and what you can do about it.

Watch ‘My Boss Won’t Make a Decisions’ Video (14 mins 11 sec):

Download the ‘My Boss Won’t Make a Decisions’ Cheat Sheet, Video, Audio, and Slides

Wily Manager is a resource for managers at all levels of organizations. We also encourage aspiring new leaders to engage with us to. Every now and then I get some hate-mail that makes it clear that some non-managerial types hang out on the website too. I’m guessing they visit so they can make themselves more angry and bitter than they already are because they are boring, ugly, and have no friends.

The hate mail I get is when I speak truth to managers. Often times, these truths come at the expense of well-regarded intellectuals who have done lots of research about business, but have never really participated in one (other than the job they had as an intern during their undergraduate studies).

Here’s one of those truths:

“People will naturally resist change”

Of course, the gurus will tell you that people don’t resist change. They say people will get on board if you take the time to explain the benefits, why the change is being made, and what’s in it for them. That is exquisite BS.

The best is example is the metric system. The metric system is much easier and nearly universal in its use. Yet, the few hold-outs in the world cling to the old Imperial System like Linus to his blanket.

Here’s another uncomfortable truth:

“If you want to overcome resistance to change, you need to make the pain of staying the same greater than the pain of changing.”

The gurus would hate this truth. They would contend that you hold people’s hands, sit in a circle, and sing campfire songs, and people will change. They won’t.

Don’t coddle people through change – yes, you need to explain to them what is changing, why it’s changing, and what the benefits are. You need to tell them several times. But then you need to make the pain of staying the same greater than the pain of changing.

If you doubt me, here’s a third truth:

“Resistance is futile. Your own distinctiveness will be added to our own – prepare to be assimilated.”

Organizational Change Resistance

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Organizational Change Resistance occurs in every organization, yet few put plans in place to deal with it. Below we talk about how to deal with Organizational Change Resistance:

Identifying Organizational Change Resistance
Calling out Organizational Change Resistance
Coaching for Organizational Change Resistance
Three Things to Remember about Organizational Change Resistance

Three Steps to Dealing With Organizational Change Resistance:

Identify the resistance
Call out the resistance
Coach the resistance

Identifying Resistance

The first step in overcoming Organizational Change Resistance is to identify the symptoms of resistance.

Missed Deadlines – One way for people to resist is to simply “blow off” a deadline. If this is happening regularly, it could be due to resistance.
Excuses – Do people make excuses for why things are not getting done, or not being done in the prescribed way?
Finger Pointing — Another way to resist is to point the finger elsewhere when thing go wrong.
Analysis Paralysis – Becoming overly-analytical is a way to avoid doing something you don’t want to do.
Silence — Withdrawing feedback or input is a way to demonstrate resistance.
Procrastination

Call Out the Resistance

The first step to dealing with Organizational Change Resistance is call it out for what it is. When you confront people with this, keep the following things in mind:

Use direct, neutral, everyday language.
Describe how you see the resistance showing up.
Describe the impact the resistance has on you and the organization.
Describe how you are feeling.

Coach the Resistance

Coaching people through Organizational Change Resistance is not fundamentally different than coaching through other performance issues:

Provide context. Ensure that people understand the larger picture, and why you are asking them to do things.
Clarify with them that they fully understand what you are asking. Ask clarifying and confirming questions to test their understanding
Create a path forward with them about what needs to be differently going forward. You may need to go back and forth between the Clarify and Create stages a few times.
Commit to what you will do to help people, as well as specific dates and deadlines for things that they are going to do differently
Close your coaching session with a recap of what has been decided, who has what commitments, and express your confidence that the person can be successful.

Organizational Change Resistance

Three Things to Remember About Dealing With Organizational Change Resistance

Leadership is a contact sport – you need to engage people, and discuss things when experiencing resistance.
Use the coaching model template to prepare. Your conversation needs to be structured, so use this tool to help do so.
Involve them in the problem solving effort. Getting their buy-in necessarily means involving them.

Watch the ‘3-Minute Crash Course’ about Organizational Change Resistance (CLICK THE ARROW TO START THE VIDEO):

Looking for the Full-Length Podcast/Video? …

Cross Cultural Conflict

A few years ago, I did a project with a company that was a joint venture between a British Company, an American Company, and a Canadian one. It was in the Utility sector, so you would assume that very similar parent companies, from very similar countries would have no problem integrating their cultures. This was an excellent example of why one should never assume.

The United States and Canada are both former colonies of the UK, and all three countries share a language (with respect to the one-third of Canadians who are French speakers). How different could they be?

On Managing Conflict:

Americans argue hard for their viewpoint, and ultimately get along at the end of the day
The British are much more reserved and polite, but will express dissent.
Canadians avoid conflict at all costs – often to their detriment

On Working Hours:

Americans work 12 hours a day, and rarely take more than a few days off in a row
The British work hard on a daily basis. They also have 8 weeks vacation (holiday) per year, and take a minimum of two weeks off at a time.
Canadians are about half way in between the two, unless there’s a hockey game on TV, in which case they go home early.

On Dealing with Governments (we were constantly moving people between the three countries)

The American Government was a nightmare to work with. They constantly change immigration rules, and won’t provide any reasons or justifications for doing so.
The British Government was consistent, although highly bureaucratic and cumbersome in its process.
The Canadian Government was consistent with its expressed goal of making it easy for skilled people to enter and work in that country.

On Language

Americans speak “Microsoft English” – the easiest and most identifiable form of the language.
The British contingent from England spelled some things differently, but otherwise communicated well. The Scottish contingent constantly baffled all the rest of us with their use of the language.
The Canadians sounded like the Americans; spelled like the British; and threw in some French spellings just to throw everyone else off.

On the Metric System

The United States is the only country in the world that still uses the outdated and cumbersome Imperial Measurement system.
The British were very frustrated when they hopped in their Audis and BMWs that the speed limit was 65mph, rather than 110 kph.
The Canadians were baffled that 32 degrees was miserably cold, rather than miserably hot.

On “Entitlement Mentality”

Americans don’t feel much entitlement, but rather feel the individual is responsible for his/her own circumstances.
The British have some Entitlement Mentality – particularly when it came to the private American health care system. (“I have to pay for this!?!?”)
The Canadians had a bad case of entitlement mentality. Perhaps it was because most of the people working there had been government employees before the utility was privatized.

In the end, we managed to make this company work, but don’t ever underestimate cross-cultural issues even in seemingly similar cultures.

Encouraging Conflict

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So why would anyone want to encourage conflict? Below we talk about the following aspects of Encouraging Conflict:

Why Encouraging Conflict is Good
Warning Signs that your team doesn’t have enough conflict
Steps to Encouraging Conflict
Three Things to Remember about Encouraging Conflict

Why Encouraging Conflict is Good

Teams that don’t have enough conflict run the risk of sub-optimizing their performance.

Conflict often extracts the best ideas. Discussion that involves respectful disagreement yields results and insights that would not otherwise surface.
By Encouraging Conflict crucial topics get addressed and real solutions are discussed and determined.
Encouraging Conflict stifles the “pocket veto” and backroom politics. It ensures that disagreement and dissent occur within the meeting, rather than outside it.

Warning Signs that Your Team Doesn’t Have Enough Conflict

Your meetings are BORING. If everyone always agrees, then you may need to do a better job of Encouraging Conflict.
Back-channel politics and personal attacks thrive. Without Encouraging Conflict, the meeting ends, and then the real discussion takes place without all the players at the table.
Your team avoids controversial topics even when they are critical to team success.
Silence is viewed as agreement … and many team members remain silent. If your team meetings are very quiet, you may need to Encouraging Conflict.

Steps to Encouraging Conflict

Create a safe environment by starting with Team Trust. If there is a low level of trust amongst team members, you will not be about to Encouraging Conflict.
Seek out alternative viewpoints by asking for them.
As the leader, hold back on your opinions for a time, and encourage hearing from others.
Assign a meeting role of “devils advocate”. By having a person assigned to disagree, more issues will be put on the table.

Three Things to Remember About Encouraging Conflict:

Although we have advocated that some conflict can be productive, not all conflict is, so be careful not to over do it.
Build your team with diversity in mind. If you select people for your team that always agree with you, it will be very difficult to Encouraging Conflict.
Attack the problem, not the solution or even the idea. Make sure conflict is never personal.

Watch the ‘3-Minute Crash Course’ about Encouraging Conflict (CLICK THE ARROW TO START THE VIDEO):

Looking for the Full-Length Podcast/Video? …

Employee Discipline Procedures: Progressive Discipline

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Below we talk about the following aspects of Employee Discipline Procedures:

Setting the stage for Employee Discipline Procedures
Issuing Warnings
The Progressive Discipline Meeting
Taking Corrective Action

Setting the Stage for Employee Discipline Procedures

Many managers fail to do their homework prior to launching in to Employee Discipline Procedures. There are some things to do ahead of time:

Articulate clear expectations. You cannot take an employee to task on things they were not aware they are accountable for. There are a number of mechanisms to articulate those expectations:

Job descriptions
Performance agreements
Regular one on one meetings

Document everything. A key part of Employee Discipline Procedures is the paper-trail. You should have a file on every employee, and that file should contain details of all communication pertaining to performance.

Notes about informal discussions
Any emails pertaining to performance.
Documentation from more formal interventions.

Ensure you are prepared to focus on the behavior, not the person. If you make it personal, it will much more difficult, and you may incur needless legal risk.

Have a Progressive Discipline process. You must being your Employee Discipline Procedures knowing the various steps, and how it might end.

Progressive Discipline Process

Your first step in Employee Discipline Procedures is to check with your HR department or person to fully understand what systems and processes are currently in place. In the absence of any such tools, use the following as a starting point for your Employee Discipline Procedures:

Ensure expectations are clear.
Highlight the gap between desired and actual performance. You need to be as specific as possible when describing this gap.
Issue verbal warning – Tell the person specifically what you want them to change, and in what time frame. If there is a knowledge or skill gap, you will need to assist the person in bridging this gap. Write down the details of the verbal warning (date, time, discussion points, and any witnesses present).
Issue written warning with consequences. If the performance has still not improved, you need to issue a formal written warning. This should include very clear consequences as to what will happen if performance does not improve. Again you need to be very specific about the gap between desired performance and actual performance. You also need to specify timelines for improvement, and the next meeting.
Issue second written warning. This will have all the elements of the first letter, but also include a much more urgent sense of the consequences of continued poor performance.
Take corrective action – a demotion, a suspension, or termination. At this stage it will be largely dependent on the circumstances, but you need to follow through on the promised consequences in the previous warnings.

How to Issue Warnings in the Employee Discipline Procedures

Highlight the gap between the desired performance and the actual performance.
Issue a verbal warning. Be as specific as possible, and make suggestions for improvement. You need to document the verbal warning with the date and time, the details of the conversation, the follow up actions discussed, and any witnesses to the conversation.
Issue a written warning. Be specific. Be clear on the consequences
Issue further warnings after an adequate period of time has passed to allow him/her to make the required improvements.

The Discipline Meeting

What to say:

Clarify the process, and what is about to happen
Provide in as much detail as possible with behavioral examples the deficiencies of performance or transgression that has brought everyone to this meeting.
Point out the negative impact to the organization and to the people that the undesirable performance has.
Describe in detail the desired behavior or action, and reference when and where this has been made clear to the employee previously

How to Say It:

Present case in neutral language
Be calm
Be as specific as possible (when, where, how many, etc.)
Focus on the facts
Be professional

Ask the employee to reply

Listen carefully
Ask for clarification if necessary.
Ask the employee for comments or potential solutions to resolve the issue.

Taking Corrective Action

Corrective action as part of your Employee Discipline Procedures, can take a variety of forms. You need to determine what will be most likely to solve your problem. In some cases, it may be suspension, in others it may be termination. One thing you need to ensure when you get to this stage is that there are no surprises to the employee. There should have been adequate warning and notice before you ever advance to this stage of the Employee Discipline Procedures.

3 Things to Remember about Employee Discipline Procedures

Document everything, every time, always. You need this to mitigate the risk of harassment or wrongful dismissal claims. It is also good practice.
Don’t over or under react to a situation. Ensure the action you take is commensurate with the nature of the transgression
Don’t make it personal. It makes it much easier for all concerned if you can adequately detach personalities from the situation

Watch the ‘3-Minute Crash Course’ about Employee Discipline Procedures (CLICK THE ARROW TO START THE VIDEO):

Looking for the Full-Length Podcast/Video? …

Weasels in the Workplace

There are lots of colloquialisms and metaphors used in business today that are “reaching” to say the least. Sports analogies are very tired, and if I hear one more person talk to me about “low-hanging fruit”, there will be a Bob-shaped hole in the nearest door.

However the word, “weasel” is perfect for the type of behavior it describes in the workplace. To that end, I’ve put together a list of the similarities between a weasel found in nature, and the weasel found in the workplace:

A weasel is a rodent. As such, they are a nuisance that needs to be weeded out and destroyed.
When a weasel is threatened it becomes extremely aggressive, and potentially dangerous.
They are small (in this case of the workplace weasel small-minded), but active predators.
According to Wikipedia, weasels in nature have a reputation for cleverness and guile… not unlike the workplace weasel.
Weasels are considered vermin because they stock poultry and rabbits used for commercial purposes. The workplace weasel also undermines commerce – usually by more insidious means than stocking poultry.
Weasels exist on all continents except Antarctica and Australia. If there are any Wily Manager followers at the research station at Antarctica, I’d love to know if there are any workplace weasels. I lived in Australia for a while, and while they may not have weasels, they have lots of other rodent vermin, which begs the question, “what do the Aussies call their workplace weasels? Actually, I was once told that the Australian equivalent of the office-weasel was called a Kiwi, but after I visited New Zealand, I had to dismiss that as sour grapes on the part of my Aussie-informant.
A group of weasels can be called a boogle, gang, pack, sneak, or confusion. The workplace weasel, when s/he finds a support group, could also be called “sneak” or “confusion” (but I also like boogle).

All these similarities got me to questioning whether weasel remedies would be similar between the natural and workplace varieties. Here, the parallels are a little more illusive, yet still instructive. For example, you can set traps for weasels. In nature, the bait is usually something to eat. With workplace weasels, it might be a rumored promotion, but sometimes they might respond to good catering.

Suddenly, the song “Pop Goes the Weasel” makes so much more sense to me now.

Inappropriate Behavior in the Workplace: Dealing with Weasels

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Below we talk about different types of inappropriate behavior in the workplace, the weasels you find engaging in such behavior, and what you can do to deal with them.

Types of Inappropriate Behavior in the Workplace discussed:

The Backstabbing Weasel
The Slacker Weasel
The Credit-taking Weasel
The Lying Weasel
Superstar Weasels
Boss Weasels

What is a weasel? (Or Who engages in Inappropriate Behavior in the Workplace?)

In Nature: A rodent or vermin predisposed to aggressive and undesirable behavior, but also known for its cleverness and guile.
In the Workplace: A rodent or vermin predisposed to aggressive and undesirable behavior, but also known for its cleverness and guile.

General rules for dealing with Inappropriate Behavior in the Workplace

Anticipate weasel-behavior. You know these people – who can you expect to act like a weasel, and under what circumstances?
Insulate yourself from inappropriate behavior in the workplace. If you know a coworker has a high propensity to act like a weasel, then find ways to avoid that person. Pick a different table to eat your lunch at.
Bring inappropriate behavior in the workplace into the open. Weasels don’t like bright light, so by drawing attention to their bad behavior, you may see a decrease in it.
Park emotions – focus on facts. You do not need to play along with inappropriate behavior in the workplace. The best remedy is to have good information and facts at your disposal, and to avoid becoming emotional in response to inappropriate behavior in the workplace.
Never lower yourself to “weasel-ness”. Your worst possible response is to retaliate with similarly poor behavior. You will be much better served in the longer term by taking the high road.

Specific Remedies to Inappropriate Behavior in the Workplace

The Backstabber – Normally, a backstabber will denigrate others to you and everyone else. When they are doing so, tell them you don’t find the behavior constructive, and challenge them to be direct with those concerned. These weasels generally lack the courage to do so, and as such the behavior will be minimized.
The Slacker – Tell the slacker the impact of his/her non-performance has on the team and team members. Do not exaggerate or be emotional, but rather be factual and calmly explain the impact
The Credit-taker – Ask the credit-taker about the contributions others have made to the team or the cause. This will force them to acknowledge they are not the only person in the world.
The Liar – It is important not to back a lying weasel into a corner, otherwise, you might get bit. Don’t accuse the liar of anything, but rather focus on the facts of the situation. Use conditional language such as, “It may not have been your intent, but your comments could be construed as misleading…”
Superstars – Every organization loves its Superstars, but sometimes, such employees are very high maintenance. You need to acknowledge their skill, but remind them of others’ contributions to the team, and subtly reinforce that no one is indispensible.
The Boss Weasel – It is particularly tricky if you have a boss that engages in inappropriate behavior in the workplace. If you choose to confront the behavior, you may want to have a backup plan ready – such as alternative employment.

3 Things to Remember about Inappropriate Behavior in the Workplace

Don’t encourage poor behavior. Even if the behavior is not directed at you, tell people you don’t find it appropriate
Don’t be emotional about any inappropriate behavior. Focus on facts of the situation and don’t embellish the details.
You only control your own behavior, so you need to focus on that. Do not get caught responding to inappropriate behavior by acting equally as poorly.

Watch the ‘3-Minute Crash Course’ about Inappropriate Behavior in the Workplace (CLICK THE ARROW TO START THE VIDEO):

Looking for the Full-Length Podcast/Video? …

Inappropriate Behavior in the Workplace: Dealing With Workplace Weasels

Join Jed and Bob as they discuss how to deal with six different types of weasels commonly found in the workplace. Learn how to handle The Backstabber, The Slacker, The Credit-Taker, and others.

Watch the ‘Dealing With Workplace Weasels’ Video (14 mins 56 sec):

Download the ”Inappropriate Behavior in the Workplace” Cheat Sheet, Video, Audio, and Slides

My Boss Won’t Make a Decision

My Boss Won’t Make a Decision

Resistance is Futile

Organizational Change Resistance

Cross Cultural Conflict

Encouraging Conflict

Employee Discipline Procedures: Progressive Discipline

Weasels in the Workplace

Inappropriate Behavior in the Workplace: Dealing with Weasels

Inappropriate Behavior in the Workplace: Dealing With Workplace Weasels

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