One-on-One Meetings: The Most Important Meeting of Your Week

Short, highly-structured and focused one on one meetings with each of direct reports on a weekly or bi-weekly basis, can save you time, and drive performance in your organization.  Join Jed and Bob as they discuss how and why to do effective one on one meetings.

Watch the ‘One-on-One Meetings’ Video (16 mins 11 sec):

Introducing Yourself as a New Leader

Make a strong first impression in your new management job with Fast Start, our 90-Day Onboarding Program.  It will help you avoid the 8 Fatal New Manager Mistakes.

People start new jobs everyday, and most are well aware of the first-impressions they are making upon others.  When you start as a new leader, that scrutiny is amplified simply by virtue of being the boss.  There are many cues as to the tone that a new manager sets, and leaders should take control of that messaging to ensure that the impressions they make upon people are what they intend.

As such, here are a few ideas on how to set the tone, when you join a new organization as a leader:

  1. Lock yourself in your office, and have someone start a contest to guess what you look like.
  2. Keep a low profile for a couple of days, and then unannounced, run through your new workplace screaming loudly, “Rapunzel, Rapunzel – to the tower!”
  3. Begin the first week on the job by hosting a series of 3-martini lunches, and ask people to confess as to what really goes on in the organization.
  4. Dress up as a different Disney character everyday for the first two weeks, and then hold a contest to see if people can guess which one is your favourite.
  5. Hire a string quartet to serenade you to your desk every morning.

These ideas would definitely give your people an indication of what to expect of you.

As ridiculous as it sounds, doing one or all of the above is probably a better course of action than simply showing up as a new leader and hoping that things go well.  You can increase your odds of success as a new leader by doing just a little bit of planning prior to showing up.

It’s either that, or get out the Minnie Mouse suit.

Make a strong first impression in your new management job with Fast Start, our 90-Day Onboarding Program.  It will help you avoid the 8 Fatal New Manager Mistakes.

 

Introducing Yourself as a New Leader

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There are many ways to make a first impression in a New Leadership Role.  Preferably, you will want to make that impression deliberately and with some forethought.  Below we suggest four steps to introducing yourself when taking on a New Leadership Role:

  1. Assess the Situation in Your New Leadership Role
  2. Build the Narrative for Your New Leadership Role
  3. Build Rapport With Key Stakeholders
  4. Layout a Plan and Define Expectations

 

Assess the Situation in Your New Leadership Role

Your entry into a new business or department should be guided by the situation you find when you get there.  In some circumstances you may have arrive and act quickly, in others you will have more time to ease in to the situation.

  • Do as much homework in advance as you can.
  • Ask lots of questions.
  • What is your business situation?  Is it a turnaround, or are you sustaining previous success?
  • What is the environment you find yourself in?
  • What is the corporate culture like?
  • Can you ease-in, or do you have to take immediate action?

 

Build the Narrative for Your New Leadership Role

Based on the situation, frame your story appropriately:

  • How did you get here?
  • What are your stories?
  • What things do you value?
  • What can people expect from you?

Target your audience, and adjust the delivery as necessary.
Build Rapport With Key Stakeholders

  • Put in lots of face time
  • Listen more than you talk
  • Meet individually with all of your direct reports.
  • Meet individually with important stakeholders

 

Layout a Plan and Define Expectations

  • Tell people what you will do in the short and medium term.
  • Reinforce what you’ve already told people about yourself by defining consistent expectations.
  • Strike the appropriate balance between micro-managing and under-managing people.

3 Things to Remember About Introducing Yourself in a New Leadership Role

  1. Communicate times ten.  Do not underestimate the importance the volume and quality of communication required.
  2. Act appropriately to the situation.  Based on your situation you may need to act quickly and take action, or perhaps the opposite.
  3. Have a plan – think about how you will introduce yourself in a New Leadership Role, and plan accordingly.

Watch the ‘3-Minute Crash Course’ about Introducing Yourself in a New Leadership Role (CLICK THE ARROW TO START THE VIDEO):

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Dealing With Bullies

Dealing with a Bully at work can often take us by surprise.  Join Jed and Bob as they discuss the four steps you need to take when dealing with a Bully in the workplace.

Watch the ‘Bullies at Work’ Video (17 mins 06 sec):


Download the ‘Bullies at Work’ Cheat Sheet, Video, Audio, and Slides

Dealing With Bullies at Work

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Bullies at Work are common occurrence that can be easily handles with a few simple techniques.  Below we discuss:

  • Defining Bullies at Work
  • Is your Bully “Fire” or “Ice”?
  • How to Deal with Bullies at Work

Defining Bullies at Work

Bullying is more than just not getting along with another person.  A Bully is:

  • Someone who wants to win at any cost.
  • Aggressive and hostile.
  • Motivated by power, control or fear.
  • A repeated pattern of inappropriate behavior.
  • Verbal or physical action that is intended to isolate or mentally hurt another person.
  • Action taken to intentionally degrade, offend or humiliate another person.

Bullying is NOT:

  • Someone who disagrees with you.
  • Someone who is trying to hold you accountable.

Defining Bullies at Work: Fire or Ice?

People will recognize Bullies at Work when it is most obvious, but there is more than one type of Bully:

Fire

  • Will explode when s/he is threatened.
  • Tantrums, threats, shouting, anger and intimidation
  • Highly emotional and uncomfortable for others.

Ice

  • Far less emotional or confrontational than the fire.
  • Sarcastic comments, sabotaging a meeting or interaction, belittling of others
  • Deliver their abuse with a smile

How to Deal with Bullies at Work

Step 1. Determine if it is bullying

It is important to delineate Bullying from other forms of confrontation or negative human interactions that may occur in the workplace.  Sometimes people claim to have been bullied by their boss, when their boss is merely holding them accountable.  When determining if bullying has occurred consider the following:

  • Often not what is said, but rather how it is said.  If specific words or phrases are chosen to belittle or intimidate, it is likely the work of Bullies at Work
  • Make sure it is not harassment or violence in the workplace.  If there is inappropriate physical contact, it has gone beyond bullying, and you must involve someone else.  The exact definitions will vary by jurisdiction, but it is worth knowing the definition of harassment or violence in the workplace in your jurisdiction.
  • If it includes threats, physical breach of space, or inappropriate language, do not attempt to solve the problem, but terminate the meeting immediately.

Step 2. Suppress Your Emotions

Strong emotions can compromise your ability to adequately react to Bullies at Work.  You must do your best to suppress your emotions and (re)act as rationally as possible.

  • The bully wants you to react – often Bullies at Work take pleasure in watching other squirm.
  • Detach yourself – don’t take it personally.  In many cases, Bullies at Work are not going after you individually, but rather the person in your position.
  • Be self-aware of the impact the situation is having on you.  Know when you are becoming angry or otherwise emotionally compromised, and how that might impact your response to the situation.

Step 3. Redirect

Bullies at Work want you to absorb the negative energy they are projecting.  The best thing you can do is redirect that energy:

  • Take out of a public space, if necessary.
  • Acknowledge their point(s) without ceding ground.  To acquiesce to the demands of Bullies at Work is to invite more of their poor behavior.
  • Restate their position in neutral language so you can indicate that you have understood their point.
  • Ask clarifying and confirming questions.
  • Ask them for a solution.  Bullies at Work often have no interest in solutions, because they would rather bully and intimidate.  An easy way to disarm them is to ask them for their ideas towards a solution.

Step 4. Adjourn if Necessary

Sometimes it is a completely legitimate course of action to adjourn your meeting with Bullies at Work.  Of course, if you do not follow up afterwards, you will be seen as avoiding or yielding to the bully which will invite more of the same behavior.  Reasons to adjourn:

  • If you are emotionally compromised
  • If you have any fear for your safety
  • To take time to gather information or facts
  • To allow all parties to cool off.

3 Things to Remember About dealing with Bullies at Work

  1. The Bully may just enjoy being a Bully, and any attempt to solve a problem will be met with more hostility.
  2. You need to take a stand or the Bullying behavior will continue.
  3. Being Bullied is not the same as just not getting along with others.

Watch the ‘3-Minute Crash Course’ about Bullies at Work (CLICK THE ARROW TO START THE VIDEO):

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Get Instant Access to 200+ Cheat Sheets, Videos, and Other Immediately Usable Tools for Busy Managers – Try Out a Wily Manager Membership Today!

Bullied at Work? Hug It Out!

Bullies don’t disappear when they become adults.  They just move to a new playground.

You’d think in an era as political correct and risk sensitive as ours, that bullying in the workplace would be a more distant memory than a stadium full of screaming fans for Huey Lewis and the News.  However, it still exists for a variety of reasons – not the least of which is that bullying tactics often work.  Ask anyone who has ever worked in retail, and they’ll tell you that the people that most often get what they want are those that are the rudest and the nastiest.

There is only one way to deal a bully, and it requires taking him or her out at the knees before they get entirely worked up and out of control.  When confronted by a bully it is good to have some ready-to-go responses that will make the bully more confused than your dog when you pretend to throw the ball, but hide it behind your back.

Here are some suggestions:

  1. “Have you had your rabies shot, because that foam coming out of your mouth is bad sign.”
  2. “If I was as (short/fat/bald/ugly) as you, I’d probably be angry too”
  3. “Does someone need a hug?  Come on over here, you big lug.”
  4.  “And that’s what happens when we don’t get our meds adjusted right.”
  5. “My best suggestion would be that you move to a jurisdiction where marijuana is legal, and you keep a 3-finger baggy available for times like this.”
  6. “If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands!” (clap, clap)
  7.  “Mama always said, ‘Stupid is as stupid does’”
  8. “Let’s use our words in a way that people will want to listen to us.”
  9. “The anger-management class is two floors down, and doesn’t start for another hour.”
  10. “I’m telling my mom”

In the best case scenario, such a comment should shut the bully down.  But even in the worst case scenario, it will put them off guard long enough for you to call security.

We’re joking here, of course.  A bully in the workplace is a serious issue that causes havoc and stress for everyone involved.  However, a skilled manager can successfully gain the upper hand and take control of the situation.

The Dealing With Bullies at Work Video and Cheat Sheet combo was just added to the Wily Manager membership area, and it’s one of over 90 topics available now.  

In it, we explain how to deal with the two radically different types of bullies you’ll encounter on the job.  Armed with this insight, you’ll be able to shut down a bully’s attack and restore peace at work.

Become a member and get 8 free bonus gifts worth $187, plus instant access to all the existing tools and advice already available in the members-only area.   It’s jam-packed with Videos, Cheat Sheets, and other tools…and new content is added each and every week.

Next week we’ll be talking about Career Transitions, and you’ll get the advice you need to ensure you don’t compromise your success by fumbling through critical career changes.  You won’t want to miss out – become a Wily Manager Member today. 

Upward Management: Get Your Boss to Do What YOU Want

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Below we talk about why Upward Management is important to every employee, and how you can best go about doing it.  There are four key steps to Upward Management:

  1. Continually Manage Upward
  2. Know what’s important to your boss
  3. Assess how your boss makes decisions
  4. Do your homework

Continually Manage Upward

Don’t make the mistake of only proactively managing your boss when you need something.  Upward Management is a continually effort.  Here are some ideas as to how to continually Manage Upwards:

  • Be credible to your boss.  The best way to build credibility is to always do what you say you’re going to do.
  • Manage expectations on an ongoing basis.  Make sure you keep your boss up to date as to how things are going.  Don’t wait for her to ask!
  • Never surprise your boss.
  • Adjust your style, if necessary.  If you and your boss do not have a compatible work style, the onus is on you to change.
  • Align your goals with his/hers.  A key aspect of Upward Management  is to make sure your boss views your efforts as furthering her own goals.

Know What’s Important to Your Boss

A critical component of effective Upward Management is to have a very clear understanding of what your boss thinks is important.  If you don’t know, you need to ask.  When trying to influence your boss, can you:

  • Frame what you want as advancing one of his/her goals?
  • Articulate what’s in it for your boss.
  • Identify any potential risks your boss might see?

Assess How Your Boss Makes Decisions

Some people rely most on fact, others on how decisions impact people, and others still on the financial impact.  There are multitude of criteria people use when making decisions.  Effective Upward Management means understanding how your boss makes decisions.  Does s/he:

  • Rely mostly on facts?
  • Does s/he need a high level of detail?
  • Need to contribute to part of a bigger picture or strategy?
  • Highly value dollar considerations or bottom line?
  • Consider political issues?

It is imperative to know how your boss sees these things.

Do Your Homework

Upward Management is not something that should be improvised.  You need to lend careful consideration to all the things mentioned above, and also:

  • Anticipate objections your boss may have.
  • Mitigate risks that your boss may see as a result of your suggestion or action.

Three Things to Remember about Upward Management:

  1. No matter good you may think your suggestion or idea is, you still need to “sell” it.
  2. You need to continually cultivate your relationship, and your credibility with your boss.
  3. S/he may know something you don’t.  If you don’t get the action or answer you want, remember that there may be parts of the situation that you are not privy to.
Watch the ‘3-Minute Crash Course’ about Upward Management (CLICK THE ARROW TO START THE VIDEO):

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Influencing Your Boss

Join Jed and Bob as they discuss the four key elements to effectively influence your boss.  If you stand any hope at all of getting your boss to act on something for you, you need to listen to this week’s podcast.

Watch the ‘Influencing Your Boss’ Video (13 mins 54 sec):


Download the ‘Influencing Your Boss’ Cheat Sheet, Video, Audio, and Slides

5 Ways to Influence Your Boss

Back when I had a real job, I had a boss that just wouldn’t do what I needed him to do.  I set out my expectations clearly, I continually clarified and reinforced what I needed him to do, and I tactfully drew attention to those areas where he wasn’t meeting expectations.  Unfortunately, it didn’t work out, and I had to let him go.  On paper, he was still my boss, but I essentially minimized my relationship with him because he failed to perform.

Oddly, I’m only partially kidding about the above.  It did get me thinking about different ways we can influence those over whom we have no control.  In ascending order of desperation, here are some ways to influence your boss:

  • Do what you say you will.  To influence, you need credibility.  The best way to be credible is to consistently deliver on what you promise.  If you have a reputation for being as reliable as a 1970s model Ford Pinto, then you’ll end up the same way:  in a ball of flames at the bottom of a freeway off ramp.
  • Address your boss’s concerns.  You need to frame whatever it is you want in terms that matter to your boss.  If all he wants for Christmas is the GI Joe with the Kung Fu Grip, then link what you want to that wish.
  • Go Eddie Haskell:  Be a boot-licker.  With some people, sucking-up actually works.  If you’ve got a boss that isn’t repulsed by oral-anal attention, then pucker-up and go for it.
  • Frame or blackmail him/her.  This option is easiest if you’ve already got dirt on your boss.  If you don’t, bring in hash-brownies or poppy seed muffins (shows up as opium in the blood stream), and then tip-off HR and suggest that a random drug test might be in order.
  • Sleep with him/her.  It’s drastic measure, and one that becomes complicated if sexual orientations are not compatible.  It is also fraught with moral hazard.  However, it may quite likely yield the result you’re looking for.

After reading this list, if you feel dirtier than a coal miner at a brothel, remember that the best way to influence your boss (or anyone else), is to create expectations of them, and continually manage those expectations.

At the very least, you should expect your boss to:
  • Offer timely feedback
  • Communicate the larger picture to you
  • Assist with your developmental goals

There’s one very easy way for your boss to assist with your professional development – a Wily Manager Corporate Membership for the whole company.

You and your co-workers get instant, practical advice that allows you to confidently handle leadership situations.  You’ll be a better boss and get ahead in your career.  And best of all, your company pays.

Your company will be happy to foot the bill, because they get an ongoing, relevant, and engaging leadership development program that’s very low cost, easy to follow, and doesn’t take employees away from the office.

Put us in touch with a decision maker in your organization so we can get to work arranging a Wily Manager Membership for you and all your co-workers.

We’ll use our powers of influence…and hopefully we won’t have to sleep with your boss.  We’ll try blackmail first.

Get More Done by Focusing on Your Circle of Control

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The Circle of Control, along with the Circles of Influence and Concern are a simple tool you can use to ensure you are applying your focus in the right place.  Below, we specifically talk about:

  • Why You Need to Focus on Your Circle of Control
  • The Circle of Control
  • The Circle of Influence
  • The Circle of Concern

Why You Need to Focus on Your Circle of Control

  • Because you have more demands on your time than you have ability to fill those demands.
  • Many people spend far too much time and energy worrying about things they ultimately have little influence over.
  • Focus on key activities is the single biggest missing ingredient in most businesses.
Circle of Control

The Circle of Control

For every activity, and every bit of energy you expend, you need to critically question whether it is in your Circle of Control, or one of the other circles.

  • The majority of your effort belongs in the Circle of Control, or at the very least with things that you significantly influence.
  • Do not overestimate or underestimate what you control.  Make sure you are honestly assessing what you control and influence.  If you over-estimate your control, you will become frustrated by your inability to make progress.  If you underestimate your Circle of Control, you’ll end up being far less effective than you potentially can be.
  • Things in the Circle of Control are how you should measure your success.

The Circle of Influence

If something is not part of your Circle of Control, you can still spend time on them, as long as you significantly influence them.

  • These might be shared processes or simply things you provide input to.
  • Work to migrate some of the things in your circle of influence into your Circle of Control.

The Circle of Concern

There are many things that you may be concerned with, that you don’t actual control or influence.  This is fine, as long as you realize it for what it is.

  • Treat the things in your Circle of Concern as a “hobby”.
  • You can have an interest in things that fall into the Circle of Concern, but be careful as to how much time and energy is spent here.

3 Things to Remember About Focusing on Your Circle of Control

  1. Consider carefully what Circle specific tasks or accountabilities fall into before lending any effort to them.
  2. Don’t under or over estimate your level of control or influence.
  3. Those who focus most on their Circle of Control succeed.
Watch the ‘3-Minute Crash Course’ about the Circle of Control (CLICK THE ARROW TO START THE VIDEO):

Looking for the Full-Length Podcast/Video? …

Get Instant Access to 200+ Cheat Sheets, Videos, and Other Immediately Usable Tools for Busy Managers – Try Out a Wily Manager Membership Today!

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