Managing conflict

You’re Fired! How to Fire an Employee

Before You Fire

Have you done everything reasonably possible to have the employee succeed?
Has the employee been warned that their poor behavior or performance will lead to termination if not corrected? Are these warnings in writing?
Consult with your legal council and HR to determine whether the termination is ‘with just cause’ or ‘without just cause’
In cases of ‘with cause’ have you completed an investigation and got the employees side of the story?
With the help of Legal or HR prepare the letter or ‘separation agreement’

Be Respectful

Have the conversation as soon as possible after making the decision to terminate
Select neutral territory, preferably where you can be as discreet as possible
Plan to allow the employee to depart with as much dignity as possible
Provide appropriate transitional support

Doing the Deed

Have someone with you to witness the conversation, preferably HR or another manager
Keep the discussion quick and to the point
Don’t defend or debate the decision

Chicken$hits Can’t Be Effective Leaders

Far smarter people than me have written about what is required for effective leadership, but this week I have been reflecting upon the most necessary ingredient: courage.

I have had the pleasure of interacting with many leaders of varying quality over many years, and all of them have at least a few obvious strengths, but the common denominator in the truly outstanding leaders, are those who handle awkward, difficult or downright scary situations head-on. They don’t always get it right the first time, but the outstanding leader does not back down because she fears reprisal from her boss, peers, direct reports or some other stakeholder.

It is amazing how many people have a strong need to liked by those who report through to them. The relationship between a boss and his/her employees should always be respectful, but it does not need to be friendly. Many leaders hate to deliver bad news, or say “no” to people. Other leaders won’t deal with performance issues because it might involve a difficult conversation, or let an employee who should have been fired years ago get away with perpetual sub-par performance.

This is exquisite BS.

It is a form of dishonesty, and certainly demonstrates a lack of integrity when leaders fail to engage in difficult conversations. Progressive organizations have figured this out, and gotten rid of managers who are afraid to get rid of people.

The right thing to do is rarely the easy thing to do, but it is the burden of leadership. If you are too chicken$hit to do the right thing, then you should either grow a pair, or wait to be fired. The choice is yours

Giving Quality Feedback

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Why should you give feedback?

To confirm a course of action, performance or behavior
To correct specific behavior or performance
To have a behavior or performance carry on
Use as a performance management tool to enhance performance

There are 5 steps for giving quality feedback:

Step 1: Context Tell them what you’re going to tell them

Tell them what’s coming – don’t leave them guessing
Don’t just start talking, and leave them to figure it out on their own
“I’d like to offer some feedback on…”

Step 2: Clarify Describe in specific, measurable and observable terms and tell them why it’s important

Generalities don’t work
Have your facts straight
Describe observable behaviors
Use measures wherever possible
Tell them why this is important
What is the impact on you and on others?
How does it relate to high level goals and objectives

Step 3: Create Ask for feedback on the feedback and brainstorm actions to improve or do better

Ask lots of questions
Guide them through the feedback
Give an opportunity to respond
Brainstorm actions to improve or do better

Step 4: Confirm Agree on action steps forward, and determine exactly what will happen next

Make sure you agree on what will happen next, even if it is to maintain the status quo
Reinforce continued good performance
Describe what future outcomes you’d like to see

Step 5: Close Express confidence and support

Everyone should leave the meeting with a clear idea of what they need to do next
Reinforce your confidence in the recipients ability to be successful
Describe how you will support them in their efforts to improve

Dealing with Difficult Behavior

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For most managers, ‘people issues’ consume the largest portion of time and effort. No employee is more time consuming than one exhibiting difficult behaviour. For this reason, building skills to cope with difficult people has an immediate and measureable return.

Everyone displays difficult behaviour at one time or another. People often engage in difficult behavior because such action has worked for them in the past. There are very specific techniques that managers can use to address difficult behaviour. Some specific behaviours require certain responses, but for all difficult behaviours:

Focus on the specific behaviour, not the person or personalities
Identify the type of behaviour, and strategize a response before reacting
Attempt to understand the root cause of the behavior
Avoid public showdowns
Determine if the conversation can continue at that time, and postpone it if emotions are running high
Be aware of the impact of the behavior is having on you
Don’t make excuses for the person
Choose to do something about the behavior

Not all the Turtles make it to the Sea

In some cases a difficult person will not respond to reasonable attempts to assist them in correcting their behavior, and organizational health can be at stake. In such a case, high integrity leaders must make the unpleasant choice to part company with that person.

Get the Complete ‘Dealing with Difficult Employees’ Topic Bundle

The Dealing with Difficult Employees topic bundle includes:

Dealing with Difficult Employees Cheat Sheet (pdf)
Dealing with Difficult Employees Booklet (pdf) containing:
- In-Depth Topic Overview
- How to Deal with People Who Love to ARGUE
- How to Deal with People Who Feel Unreasonably ENTITLED
- How to Deal with People Who Think They KNOW IT ALL
- How to Deal with Chronic PESSIMISTS or BLAMERS
- How to Deal with People Who DON’T WANT TO WORK
- How to Deal with the UNMOTIVATED
- How to Deal with a BULLY
- How to Deal with People Who ALWAYS ARGUE and people Who Can NEVER MAKE A DECISION
- Recommended Resources – where to find out even more about Dealing with Difficult Employees

Dealing with Difficult Employees Podcast (mp3)
Dealing with Difficult Employees Podcast slides (Powerpoint)

Handling Emotional Behavior

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Nothing changes your day so quickly as unexpected emotional behaviour. It is primal in its delivery, and a manager’s response is also often primal. By identifying it for what it is, and developing coping strategies in advance, a leader is less likely to blindsided by emotional behavior, and can salvage the situation at hand.

When you are confronted by emotional behavior there are 3 things to manage simultaneously:

The behavior itself
The content or root cause of the behavior which may be a serious issue requiring attention
The impact the negative behavior is having on you

Different types of emotional behavior require different responses, but here are some universal rules to help cope with highly emotive situations:

Determine if the conversation can proceed in a constructive way. In cases where emotions are running extremely high, the very best course of action, may be to adjourn the conversation until cooler heads prevail.

Be aware of the impact the behavior is having on you. It is important to quickly analyze your own state of mind before reacting. If you find yourself extremely agitated or otherwise emotionally compromised, you need to quickly determine how that will impact the quality and outcome of the conversation.

Articulate to the other person how you are being affected by the behavior. Often people become angry or otherwise emotional, and do not realize the impact they are having upon others. Many times the situation can be partially diffused by describing the impact of the behavior. For example, “I have to be honest and let you know that this conversation is making me feel quite defensive, and I don’t like feeling that way.” Note that you should not say, “YOU are making me defensive”, but rather focus on the situation.

Ensure the other person knows s/he has been heard. It is not necessary to agree with the other person, but it is important to let them know that you have heard and understand their message. Again, just by acknowledging their viewpoint, the situation may be largely defused.

Propose a path to resolution. It is important to redirect the energy of the emotional behavior into some form of resolution. If the other person is just venting, then you need to decide to what degree you will indulge this before terminating the conversation. Otherwise, you should engage the other person in determining a path forward and moving towards resolution of their issue.

Dealing with emotional behavior is something every manager will face at one point or other. It is never easy, but by keeping in mind the things above, a tense situation can be made easier.

Difficult Conversations – You Smell and People Don’t Like You

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Unless you’ve been living alone in a cave most of your life, you will have had to conduct a difficult conversation with someone. If you’re a leader of people, tough talks are a job requirement. You can avoid them, but it will be at your own peril. Sooner or later you’ll need to address that difficult situation.

How to conduct a Difficult Conversation:

Step 1 – Prepare and Anticipate

Prepare in advance – anticipate responses. Make sure you are dealing with complete information
Explain but don’t defend
Make sure any issue you are dealing with does not have legal ramifications (termination, harassment, violence in the workplace etc.)
Don’t think it’s not going to be uncomfortable. Mentally prepare for the discomfort the situation may cause you.

Step 2 – Focus on Facts and Observable Behaviors

Focus on observable behaviors and facts, not the person. “People don’t like you”, is much different than “People don’t like it when talk loud on the phone.”
Focus on the issue at hand – don’t get dragged into irrelevant parallel issues.

Step 3 – Showtime: Manage the Confrontation

Get to the point – eliminate the small talk, and move to your point quickly. Often the best course of action is to make it clear in your first sentence what the other person should expect.
Do not engage in any tough talk if you are emotionally compromised at the moment. Adjourning the conversation is a legitimate course of action if either party is excessively emotional, but keep in mind that by deferring the conversation you are prolonging an unpleasant event.
Stick to your guns unless emergent facts cause you to want to reconsider. If the recipient is feeling badly, that does not count as an emergent fact.
If there are specific behaviors required of the other person, ensure those are well understood.

You’re Fired! How to Fire an Employee

Chicken$hits Can’t Be Effective Leaders

Giving Quality Feedback

Dealing with Difficult Behavior

Get the Complete ‘Dealing with Difficult Employees’ Topic Bundle

Handling Emotional Behavior

Difficult Conversations – You Smell and People Don’t Like You

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