First Day on the Job? Check Your Zipper

The first day on a new job is a harrowing experience.  It creates impressions on all those you work with, and sets the stage for your success (or failure) with that employer.

Probably my most memorable first day on the job was literally my first day on the job – any job.  I was fifteen years old, and I got a job bagging groceries at the local supermarket.  Ron Grant was the manager on duty, and he met me at the door.  Ron was never one to smile much, but he was a good guy, and he knew his job very well.

What he didn’t do as well, was to remember people’s names.  From my first day onwards, my name was always “Brad” – the curse of having a last name that is many others’ first name.  In the months to come, I’d hear him paging Brad time after time, and then wonder why Brad (whoever that was) never answered.

Ron toured me through the whole store, stopping along the way to introduce me to everyone on staff that we met, and to point out the things I might need to know for my new career wrapping groceries.  He also doled out advice that was very useful and well intentioned, but easily could have been included in the best-seller, “Sh*t My Dad Says.”  Needless to say, I learned some new words and expressions that day, that came in very handy when I recycled them back at high school.

I learned in the months and years to come, that Ron oriented me to my new workplace completely of his own initiative.  The organization really had no process for bringing people on besides the requisite signing of the official paperwork.

At the end of this orientation, he returned me to the front of the store, where I’d spend the next several years bagging groceries.

“Any questions?” asked Ron.

“Nope… I’m ready to go.” I replied.

“Great”, he said, as I turned to get started.  “Hey Brad,”

“Yep?”

“Your fly’s open”, he said without cracking a smile.

Presumably, he’d noticed this before he’d toured me through the whole place, but had waited until now to share this news with me.  It’s been a while since I’ve been teenage boy, but I’m assuming at the time I would have had checklist of basic hygiene items – such as making sure one’s zipper was properly secured.  Apparently, first day job jitters successfully eclipsed basic personal maintenance items.

Walking around in a public place with your fly open — I suppose that’s one way to make a first impression on when starting a new job.

Good Interviews Start With Semi-Intelligent Questions

“Tell me about your strengths and weaknesses”

If that is the opening line at an employment interview, you may want to run away so fast that there is a “you-shaped” hole in the door.  If you hear those words come out of your own mouth as a hiring manager, you need to do some work to up your game for this important managerial function.

Let’s examine why this is a useless question that shows a startling lack of imagination:

  • First of all, this is a question that invites insincere answers.  You might as well ask, “could you dust off some lies and embellishments, and trot them out now?”
  • Second, you are not really testing the validity of the match between the competencies required for a position, and the profile of a candidate.  Your questions need to be far more specific than this.
  • Third, this question invites the most rehearsed, least spontaneous answers.  It is possible as the hiring manager, you hear something in the syndicated response that you can follow up on, but that would be pure good luck.

I know that many managers and recruiters will disagree with my viewpoint on this, so to encourage you to abandon this useless question, here are some typical responses, and the literal translation.  You can cut and paste these ones into your interview notes, and spare the candidate the pain of the question:

What are your strengths?

  • I’m a hard worker. I don’t have any other interests or hobbies, and like to spend upwards to 80 hours a week at the office.
  • I’m a people person. I really like people, and even the few I don’t like I will treat with mock civility.
  • I’m detail oriented. I’d much rather lose myself in a spreadsheet than deal with people.

What are your weaknesses?

  • I’m a perfectionist. Not only am I perfect, but I demand the same of everyone around me.  I’m a delight at the water-cooler.
  • I’m impatient. If my paycheque is an hour late, I will launch a class-action suit on behalf of everyone who works here.
  • I work too hard. I’m not quite sure what I’m doing, so I’ll compensate by being in the office at 6am, and not leave until 9pm.  I’ll probably be on stress leave before the end of my first month.

In an interview, either as the hiring manager, or the candidate, you want some indication that the person you are dealing with is semi-intelligent.  You also hope that you are portraying yourself similarly.  Otherwise, you might as well audition for a reality-based TV show with the other mentally impaired contestants.

I had trouble choosing just one video clip this week, so I gave up, and embedded both of them.

Middle Management Conflicts, and TV Sitcoms

If you’re a regular visitor to this site, you’ll know we like The Office, Seinfeld, Saturday Night Live, and 30 Rock.  With only a few other exceptions, broadcast television is an incredible waste of time, and like other recreational drugs, should be used only occasionally and sparingly.

Interestingly, life on the corporate food-chain is not unlike a poorly written sitcom.  Perhaps that is why so many of them are set in the workplace.  Both the workplace and the crappy sitcoms have protagonists, antagonists, and usually some version of the mentally unbalanced.  Bad writing and poor acting are part of both as well.  Perhaps the only significant difference is that on a sitcom, big problems can neatly be wrapped up in 22 minutes, so there’s time to sell soap and give you a preview to next week’s silliness.

I decided to do some research for this post, so I sat for an evening to watch some sitcoms to make sure I hadn’t misplaced my contempt, and to bring myself up to date on some of the blubber being offered up on TV.

Apparently prime-time comedy is getting worse.  It is also apparent that one doesn’t need an abundance of talent to write this stuff, so Wily Manager proudly presents:

Manager in the Middle

Manager in the Middle is an innovative new sitcom from the people who bring you the Wily Manager weekly podcasts.  The primary character (yet to be named, pending focus group results) is a smart, but cheeky manager constantly being offset by his sadistic immediate supervisor.

The supervisor, Cruela (played by Jane Lynch) loves to pit one manager off against another believing this “healthy” competition will better help her run her business.  Our protagonist is also matrix-managed by a kind, cautious human-resource manager who always knows the right thing to do, but is unwilling to make a decision, and is incredibly conflict-adverse.

Our hero (played by Frankie Muniz (he’s all grown up now)) has four peer managers who all report to Cruella.  Rounding out the cast is:

  • Vlad: The hard-working, smart, reliable foreigner who is easily pushed around for fear of losing his work visa (played by Fez from That 70s Show)
  • Dianne: The single mom who is just trying to make it through the day, but is in constant conflict with Cruela, as she struggles to make it to the daycare on time to pick up her two kids.  Cruela would like to fire her for not working insane hours, but unfortunately (for Cruela) the work she does is outstanding.
  • Don: The smarmy, but oddly likeable young single guy who doesn’t know near as much as he thinks he does.  He also loves to take credit for other people’s work.
  • Vera: The jaded, cynical, sharp-tongued middle aged woman who has over ten years until retirement, but can tell you how many days are left in her working career.

Join us in the first episode when Cruela asks her team to stay late to meet a useless last minute request that everyone knows will go nowhere… and hilarity ensues.

Think we could get Fox to air it after Glee?

Top 10 Manager Challenges (Part A – Managing Conflict)

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Top 10 Manager Challenges:

Here, we talk about the first five, all of which involve CONFLICT.
[What are YOUR Hot Buttons? Take the Conflict Dynamics Profile questionnaire to find out, and get a personalized development guide.]
  1. Firing people
  2. Disciplining people
  3. Showdown with the boss
  4. Being caught in the middle
  5. Peer conflicts
  6. Constant Change
  7. Baby-sitting
  8. Overload
  9. Red Tape – Needless Administration
  10. Personal fulfillment
Firing People:
  • Only the perverse enjoy this part of the job
  • Have a solid paper trail.  If you don’t have one – postpone the firing until you do*
  • Get good advice – HR or legal
  • Make the meeting short and to the point
  • Never fire someone in anger or on the spot
  • Do not put this off because it’s uncomfortable

Employee Discipline:

  • Have a process
  • Document every meeting
    • Formal or informal
    • Written or verbal
  • Make consequences clear in advance of disciplinary action
  • Have all the information at your disposal
  • Have a witness – preferably someone from HR or legal

Showdown with the Boss:

  • Insist on dealing with it in private
  • Never bad-mouth the boss
  • Consider whether s/he has a point
  • Don’t make idle threats
  • Reinforce that s/he is the boss, and you will ultimately do as they ask*
  • Choose your battles carefully
  • Move to resolution, not to perpetuate conflict

Being Caught in the Middle:

  • Tow the party line – even when you don’t agree
  • Explain the rationale as best you understand it
  • Do not blame by pointing up the hierarchy
  • Where appropriate act as a facilitator for a more favourable outcome
  • Be very clear with your people as to what is negotiable and what is not

Peer Conflicts:

  • Determine how important a peer relationship is to you, your department and your ability to be successful
  • Figure out what they need/want from you
  • Help them understand what you need/want from them, and why it is important
  • Escalate the problem only as a last resort

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The Most Effective Interpersonal Communication? Don’t be an A$$hole

OK… we’ll start this week by talking in code.  Even though the inappropriate word above is now widely used on network television, and even Bill Cosby has uttered it from his lips, I’m pretty sure if I repeat the word several times in one post, a number of firewalls will catch it, and I won’t be able to spread the gospel this week.

For our purposes, the code word will be “O-ring”.

I was once told that in this world there are two types of people:  Idiots and O-rings.  Your label is determined by your behaviour, and everyone has acted as both an idiot and an O-ring at various points in their lives.  Some particularly talented people have managed to be both simultaneously, earning the title “idiot-hole”.

When asked if I thought I was an idiot or an O-ring, I struggled for which term I found less offensive, and more importantly what sort of behaviour qualifies one for membership in each category.  The definition of “idiot” is reasonably clear.  Anytime you’ve made an unbelievably stupid choice, you qualify as an idiot.  In my case, I was clearly an idiot when I agreed to sit through a “short video presentation”  (with a complementary cocktail) when I was on vacation in Mexico many years ago.

The definition of O-ring is somewhat more illusive.  I canvassed a number of people to try to determine exactly what would qualify someone to be labeled an O-ring.  As it turns out whenever someone else does something we don’t like, they are an O-ring.  Case in point: traffic.  Of all the people driving within a 100km radius of your vehicle, there is you, and all the other O-rings on the road.

This revelation naturally led me to examine my own behaviour when I was an Operations Manager with many direct reports.  I arrived at the unmistakable conclusion that I was a tremendous O-ring.  I’m not talking about an occasional O-ring maneuver, but rather a full-time job of simply being an O-ring.  My entire work world was an infinite series of actions and decisions that at other people didn’t like.  If I could go back in time, I’d change my title to AC (O-ring in charge).

So, is it possible to be a manager without being an O-ring?  Probably not.  Would you want to be a manager that’s not an O-ring?  Only if you want to be an idiot.

This week we talk about how improving your ability to communicate constructively, you might avoid being labeled an O-ring.

Changing Corporate Culture — the show about nothing

In January of 1986, the space shuttle Challenger exploded on take-off killing all seven crew, and grounding the American space program for two years.  Of the exhaustive investigations that took place (that led to a significant number of changes for NASA, and how they conducted their business), perhaps the most important change was that for the first time, talking about changing corporate culture was fair game.

The engineers and investigators determined the technical causes of the explosion, but when they dug deeper to understand why those technical issues were not addressed in advance, they ended up in the uncomfortable place of changing corporate culture.  It turns out NASA had a culture whereby many qualified people knew there was a significant risk of disaster, but none chose to voice those concerns, even if they would have been listened to.

I call this an “uncomfortable” conclusion because highly technical people in any organization want to discuss things they can see, touch and/or count.  Changing corporate culture is something that nebulous and messy.  It’s difficult to define, impossible to measure, and probably the most important element of performance in an organization — as NASA found out the hard way.

So how do you go about changing corporate culture?

You don’t.

Much like Jerry Seinfeld dominated television with a show about nothing, organizations need to get about doing what they do.  I was recently in the NBC store in New York, more than a decade after Seinfeld left the air, and discovered that a significant portion of the wares were dedicated to Seinfeld’s “nothing”.  The Soup Nazi, Vandalay Industries, and Kramer’s hair all testify to the enduring quality of Seinfeld’s “nothing”.

Changing corporate culture is a lot like the show about nothing.  What people do, how they interact with each other, how they manage conflict, what gets rewarded, who gets promoted, how success is measured and a score of other things all add up to your corporate culture.

The silliest thing you can do is to declare a change in corporate culture to some virtue you read about at some other company.  The culture you have now is a product of the things above.  If you want to change your corporate culture, you need to address those things.

And don’t think it will happen in a hurry.  It will be a decade more before Seinfeld is replaced at the NBC store.

Corporate Culture: Key Levers to Change or Strengthen Culture

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What can you do if you’re looking to change or strengthen a culture?
1. Start with Vision, Mission, and Values
  • Where are we headed?
  • What is our desired future?
  • What is our purpose?
  • Why are we here?
  • What is it that we do?
  • What business are we in?
  • How will we behave?
  • What’s important to us?
  • Who do we want to be?

2. How we Work

  • Org. Design/Structure
  • Office Space
  • Meetings
  • Power
  • Communication
  • Tools
  • Dress
  • Policies
3. What Gets Rewarded
  • Compensation philosophies?
  • What KPI’s do we focus on and reward?
  • What behaviors get rewarded formally or informally?

4. People

  • Who Gets Hired
  • Who Gets Promoted
  • What Training do we Provide
  • How do We Treat One Another

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Ace Your Annual Performance Review

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Why Things Go Wrong With Performance Appraisals
  • They are treated as an annual “event” rather than part of the ongoing feedback process.
  • People don’t prepare or dedicate the time necessary.
  • The giver and receiver of the feedback are from different planets
How Discrepancies Occur
  • You don’t fully understand the expectations
  • You measure performance by different “yardsticks”
  • You are delusional
How to Address Discrepancies
  • Know how performance is evaluated:
    • Goals & Objectives
    • 360
    • Behavioural Observation
    • Unstructured format
  • Ask to see the forms/format prior to review
  • Articulate expectations in writing
What If You Don’t Agree?
  • Raise objections professionally and stay calm
  • Ask for specific examples that led to a particular rating/comment
  • Escalate the matter if you have to, but be careful
Manage Perceptions All Year Long
  • Agree in advance on performance goals and metrics
  • Proactively upward manage your boss
  • Keep your own performance feedback file
  • Ask for feedback regularly and act on it

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A Guide to Ace Your Annual Performance Review

In many organizations, Annual Performance Reviews are about as popular as Ike at the Tina Turner Fan Club meeting.  They are done sporadically, if at all, and they typically have very little impact on organizational performance.

The last big multi-national corporate organization I worked for as an employee had a fascinating “system” for the annual performance review.  I would suggest it’s very typical to what is seen in other companies, so in the interests of demystifying the whole process, here is a list of definitions and translations to sort out some of the vernacular that accompanies the annual performance review:

Annual: In the case of the annual performance review, “annual” means maybe once every 18 to 24 months, or maybe never at all.

Performance Review Meeting: This is where both manager and employee avoid eye contact and share some awkward small talk before the boss launches into his/her diatribe of the last year in review.  Similar to a bad sitcom in format.

Coaching: This is the organizational equivalent of Batman.  You might see it late at night after a signal (usually a corporate memo) has been flashed, but if you see it at all, it will be in a poor light, and you’ll never be sure if it happened or not.

Developmental Opportunities: These are the things you will get fired for, if you don’t fix them.  If there were no employment laws, they would revert to what they used to be called: threats.

Pay for Performance: Managers who get along well with people, take the amount of discretionary salary dollars they have, and divide by the number of direct reports they have.  Managers who don’t care how well they get along with people give it to the people they like the most.  In the rarest of cases, there is a good measurement system in place that everyone understands, and it truly is pay for performance.  It is about as common as spotting a unicorn at the fall carnival.

Performance Appraisal Documents: This is a template that bears little resemblance to your actual job, written by someone in HR who has never worked in the core business.

Performance Review Meeting Preparation: This describes the immediate 30 seconds prior to the meeting starting

The Sandwich Method of Feedback: This is where poorly trained managers slip some “constructive” feedback in between two compliments.  For example, “Nice shoes; you’ve got some significant improvement to make on your analytical skills, but I like your socks.  Also known as the “Sh*t Filled Twinkie” method.

Performance Management Philosophy: This is the same affliction that causes writers of annual reports to declare, “Employees are our most important asset” without the implied disclaimer, “unless they cost us money, or otherwise inconvenience us.”

Seek the Employees View: This is the final 30 seconds of the meeting where the employee is expected to thank the supervisor for the constructive feedback, and declare his/her intentions to act on it.  Only trouble-makers would disagree with the feedback.  Under no circumstances should an employee ever speak his mind here.

I hope this translation helps.  For ideas on how to cope with, and ultimately succeed at your Annual Performance Review, download this week’s podcast.

Bad Bosses? Not to criticize, but you’re stupid!

Larry was my boss back when I had a real job – the kind of job where you show up every day (in body, at least), work as part of a cog in a huge corporate wheel, and try to attach meaning to mundane tasks.

The world was black and white for Larry:  if he thought you were a hard worker, he could be charming and funny.  If he didn’t like the way you worked, your life at work quickly descended into a living hell.  In the core skills and talents of the business we were in, there was probably no one stronger than Larry.

Larry did many things right as a leader;  he was not burdened by the need to have people like him, he got lots done, he was an excellent teacher, and he consistently produced the desired results.

As you can imagine, he also did a number of things wrong.  His treatment of people he didn’t like would clearly fall under the definition of harassment if it happened today.  I still remember the day when he repeatedly shouted at one of his direct reports (in front of many others), “You’re stupid!  You’re a stupid, stupid man!”

No one knows how many potentially good people he chased out of the business because his first impression of them wasn’t good.  And his volatile demeanor often took a minor incident and exaggerated it into a major crisis that required more time and energy by all involved to finally get resolved.

The company did invest in Larry by sending him off to corporate charm school, where he learned to soften his feedback:

“Not to criticize, but you’re stupid”

When I went on to leadership roles, Larry was a role model for me – both for what he did well, and by serving as a warning beacon for things he didn’t get right.  Here are some lessons I learned from Larry, that still guide me today:

  • If you want a lot of friends, or have a high need for the approval of others, you need to stay in an individual contributor’s role.
  • You always need to treat people with respect.  It doesn’t mean, however, that you don’t hold them accountable.
  • You need to be absolutely clear about your expectations, and then dole out both positive and negative consequences when things go right/wrong.  Leaders who think they can over-acknowledge good performance, and not deal with poor performance, are weak and will fail.
  • What you do is far more powerful than what you say.
  • Leadership is hard work

Larry retired many years ago, yet his impact on me (and a great many others) is still felt.  I’m sure if I asked Larry, he would have absolutely no idea how profound his influence was on me or anyone else.

So one final lesson from Larry: As a leader, you have a significant impact on people’s lives… perhaps for decades to come.

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