Are You an Imposter? Don’t Flatter Yourself

This week we’re talking about Imposters here at Wily Manager, so I thought I’d do a bit of research on great imposters of note to see if there was anything instructional for the occasional manager that finds herself with a case of Imposter Syndrome.

As I researched famous imposters, there were four names that kept coming up:

  • Charles Ponzi (after which any crooked finance scheme since has been named).
  • Frank Abagnale Jr. (the guy portrayed by Leo Dicaprio in Catch me if You Can)
  • Milli Vanilli (the duo who won a Grammy in the 90s, only to be discovered later as lip-syncers
  • George Bush Jr.  (The 43rd President of the United States)

Most of the managers I’ve talked to who suspect they have a case of Imposter Syndrome are worried because they don’t do stand-up presentations very well.  Or maybe they’re put in charge of a department where they don’t have the technical expertise.

When you compare these managerial challenges to the accomplishments of the list above, you don’t have anything to worry about.  You’re not even in the same league as these guys.  So don’t flatter yourself!

Based on the infamous list above, an imposter is someone who goes out of his way to deceive people; a person who pretends to be someone he is not, and does so with flash.  True imposters have an over-abundance of self-confidence – something most managers with Imposter Syndrome do not.

So… if you’re going to be an imposter, do it with some flair.  Can you take down a whole country’s economy?  Can you start a war?  Can you separate old age pensioners from their life’s savings?  Can you disgrace an entire industry?

If not, you probably don’t have what it takes to be an imposter, so you’ll have to try to find some other way allow your insecurities to manifest themselves.

If it’s any comfort be aware that everyone has some insecurity.  Many years ago when Johnny Carson was the host of the Tonight Show, a heart monitor was put on him to test his anxiety level right before the show started.

As it turns out, even the mighty Carson suffered some anxiety and self-doubt:  his heart rate doubled right before the curtain came up.

If Johnny Carson can be a bit nervous, surely you can too.  And don’t call me Shirley.

 

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

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What is Imposter Syndrome?

All managers and leaders have doubts about their abilities at some point or other in their careers, however Imposter Syndrome is more that this:

  • More than occasional self-doubt, but rather a constant feeling of being unable to live up to expectations
  • Imposter Syndrome is a form of self-sabotage.  Managers who do not address Imposter Syndrome will ultimately fail
  • Imposter Syndrome is the anticipation of failure as an inevitiability

Diagnosis of Imposter Syndrome

It is a fine line between humility and Imposter Syndrome.  Here is a tool to diagnose Imposter Syndrome:

Do You Feel…
Humility OR Imposter Syndrome
Gratitude for the good luck you’ve had OR Feel the only reason you’ve got this far is dumb luck
Are thankful for help or mentoring from others OR Think the only reason you’ve gotten ahead is because of others
Are motivated and excited by new challenges OR Don’t ever get comfortable before moving on to next challenge
Move laterally to expand your skills and advance your career OR Move often before anyone discovers you as the fraud you feel yourself to be

Reactions to Imposter Syndrome

  • A Purdue University Study found that women and men that experienced Imposter Syndrome reacted in different ways:
    • Women with Imposter Syndrome strive to out-perform others, and work excessively hard to do this.
    • Men with Imposter Syndrome avoid situations where they might be exposed.

How to Remedy Imposter Syndrome

  • If you suspect you may have Imposter Syndrome, you need to identify and recognize the feelings for what they are:
    • Fear of failure – A healthy attitude towards failure is that it is part of the process of being successful, and there is always something to be learned from a failure.  Those with Imposter Syndrome have a mortal fear of failure.
    • Excessive risk aversion – those with Imposter Syndrome have extreme aversion to risk, as more risk increases the chances of failure, which may expose them as a fraud in their mind.
    • Perfectionist tendencies – No one expects perfection except perfectionists, and as such their inability to achieve it can result in Imposter Syndrome.
    • By addressing these root causes (fear of failure, risk aversion, perfectionism) you may be able to overcome Imposter Syndrome.
  • Keep a list of things you do well, and good feedback that you have received.  It is helpful to remind yourself regularly of what your strengths are.
  • Be self-aware — Figure out if you actually are an imposter.  The best case scenario for someone with Imposter Syndrome is to recognize it for what it is, address the root causes, and move forward with confidence.  In other cases, people may have, in fact, gotten themselves into a situation that they are ill-equipped to handle.  If this is the case, you need to recognize it, and make an appropriate change.

3 things to Remember About Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

  1. Everyone has self-doubt – this is healthy and normal.
  2. Identify the root cause of any insecurities.  If you find yourself with seemingly excessive insecurities, figure out why you are feeling that way.
  3. Keep an “I love *(Insert your name here) file”.  Collect good feedback and successes you have had, and be ready to recall them frequently.

Watch the ‘3-Minute Crash Course’ about Overcoming Imposter Syndrome (CLICK THE ARROW TO START THE VIDEO):

Looking for the Full-Length Podcast/Video? …

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Building Trust In Teams

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Why Should You Care About Building Trust in Teams

  • High Trust teams focus their energies on important issues and business deliverables.
  • Focus on the important issues minimizes attention paid to organizational politics and other impediments to getting things done.
  • High trust teams deliver better solutions.
  • Building Trust in Teams leads to higher employee satisfaction and retention

Signs Your Team is Suffering From a Lack of Trust

  • Team members hide their weaknesses and mistakes.
  • Team members don’t ask for help.
  • They won’t provide constructive feedback.
  • Jump to negative conclusions about the intentions or competence of others.
  • Hold grudges and are generally uncooperative.
  • Dread meetings and find reasons to avoid spending time together.

Steps to Building Trust in Teams

  • Leadershipis the key to Building Trust in Teams.  As the leader, there are three necessary ingredients when you are Building Trust in Teams:
    • Competency – As the leader you must have minimum level of competence in the discipline your team is working in.
    • Intention – The leader must take the time and effort to lead.
    • Relationships – Business is a contact sport, and relationships with team members is critical.  This does not mean that the leader has to be best friends with each of her people, but it does mean she needs to make an effort to
  • Clear Focus.  Teams with a high level of trust are those that have a simple, well understood goal that team members coalesce around, and work hard to achieve.
  • Mutual Accountability.  Building Trust in Teams means that individual accountability is in place.  The strongest teams are made up of individual members that don’t want to let each other down.

3 Things to Remember About Building Trust in Teams

  1. They have to trust you first.  As the leader you need to earn trust in your people.
  2. Recognize the signs of mistrust and deal with them.  If you suspect there are trust issues amongst your team, you need to act quickly.
  3. Building Trust in Teams requires clear expectations for the team and team members.

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How to Destroy Trust and Alienate People

There are certain things I trust.  I trust the sun to rise in the morning.  I trust the lady who does my dry cleaning to always wish me a “more-nice day”.  I trust that Justin Beiber is past his 15 minutes.  I also trust that the word “trust” is a loaded word.

Often, people think that the only way to lose or violate trust is to do something very clearly wrong or dishonest.  It is actually much easier than that to destroy trust.  Trust is quite simply, managing expectations in others, and then delivering on those expectations.

This is how it goes horribly wrong for politicians – large segments of the population demand that politicians lie to them during a campaign.  Any political candidate that dare speak an uncomfortable truth, will be marginalized immediately.  Then once elected, the disconnect between the expectations that have been set, and those that are delivered becomes patently obvious, and the public feels betrayed.

Just so you don’t end up being viewed like a politician, here are five ways to quickly destroy trust:

Say one thing and do another.  Much like the politician above, this is the fastest way to ensure that no one will trust you.

Try to please all the people all the time. Life is a series of trade-offs – particularly for people in positions of leadership.  As a leader, there should be some contingent of your followers that should be marginally pissed-off at all times – because it is impossible to keep everybody happy.

Pander to your audience. Targeting whomever you are communicating to is a good idea.  However, if you find yourself targeting to such a degree that your message is fundamentally different amongst different stakeholders, you’re going to alienate someone (if not everyone).

Fail to tackle difficult issues. Every leader bears the burden of dealing with difficult issues.  They will not magically disappear or solve themselves – in fact, an issue ignored is most often one that grows out of control.

Under-value giving credit, and over-value assigning blame.  Leaders need to be humble – give away credit when things go well, and step up and accept more than your share of blame when things go poorly.  You gain a whole bunch of trust by doing so.

 

The Myth of Work-Life Balance

I was out for lunch recently on a weekend with an old family friend.  Our lunch, on a beautiful autumn afternoon, overlooking the ocean was repeatedly interrupted by a Blackberry – and not the thorny cane-fruit type.  I finally asked if my friend’s wife was eleven months pregnant, and if he was waiting on the call to rush to the hospital.

“No”, he replied without looking up.  “We’re well beyond our child-rearing days”.

Apparently, my attempt to diffuse the situation with some sarcastic humor had failed.

Some people find themselves in jobs where they really are on call over a weekend.  For the vast majority, however, they voluntarily place themselves on constant standby regardless of their position.  They then have the nerve to whine about not getting any time to themselves.

Suck it up, Princess, you’re doing it to yourself.

My friend above is a public school teacher.  I have great respect for the work that teachers do, but I’ve got to think that one of the perks of the job has got to be the fact that outside of the occasional basketball game, you are largely left alone on the weekends.  Does a public school teacher really need to be monitoring email messages on a Saturday afternoon?

The honest answer is “No”.  People, like my friend, end up doing so for a variety of reasons.  First, it makes us feel important if we believe we are indispensible.  Second is the addictive nature of being continually connected – what if we are the last ones on the block to know that the Joneses are having ice-cream with their apple pie for desert tonight?  Third, it fits right in with what we’ve always been taught to do – not to hold your attention on anyone or anything for more than 30 seconds.

The myth of work-life balance is not that it doesn’t exist, but rather that most people do not allow it to exist.  It is true that organizations need to reduce explicit and tacit pressure for employees to be connected at all times, but employees have some accountability here too.

The reality is that people love to complain that they work long hours, and never get a break, when in fact a large portion of the dysfunctional behavior is entirely self-imposed.  If you want work-life balance, then turn off your phone, and be completely present with whomever or whatever you are dealing with at that moment.  Unless you’re on call for the next space shuttle launch, nobody is going to notice anyway.

 

 

 

First Day on the Job? Check Your Zipper

The first day on a new job is a harrowing experience.  It creates impressions on all those you work with, and sets the stage for your success (or failure) with that employer.

Probably my most memorable first day on the job was literally my first day on the job – any job.  I was fifteen years old, and I got a job bagging groceries at the local supermarket.  Ron Grant was the manager on duty, and he met me at the door.  Ron was never one to smile much, but he was a good guy, and he knew his job very well.

What he didn’t do as well, was to remember people’s names.  From my first day onwards, my name was always “Brad” – the curse of having a last name that is many others’ first name.  In the months to come, I’d hear him paging Brad time after time, and then wonder why Brad (whoever that was) never answered.

Ron toured me through the whole store, stopping along the way to introduce me to everyone on staff that we met, and to point out the things I might need to know for my new career wrapping groceries.  He also doled out advice that was very useful and well intentioned, but easily could have been included in the best-seller, “Sh*t My Dad Says.”  Needless to say, I learned some new words and expressions that day, that came in very handy when I recycled them back at high school.

I learned in the months and years to come, that Ron oriented me to my new workplace completely of his own initiative.  The organization really had no process for bringing people on besides the requisite signing of the official paperwork.

At the end of this orientation, he returned me to the front of the store, where I’d spend the next several years bagging groceries.

“Any questions?” asked Ron.

“Nope… I’m ready to go.” I replied.

“Great”, he said, as I turned to get started.  “Hey Brad,”

“Yep?”

“Your fly’s open”, he said without cracking a smile.

Presumably, he’d noticed this before he’d toured me through the whole place, but had waited until now to share this news with me.  It’s been a while since I’ve been teenage boy, but I’m assuming at the time I would have had checklist of basic hygiene items – such as making sure one’s zipper was properly secured.  Apparently, first day job jitters successfully eclipsed basic personal maintenance items.

Walking around in a public place with your fly open — I suppose that’s one way to make a first impression on when starting a new job.

Dealing With Manager Stress? Try Not Giving a Crap

When asked about manager stress, I am reminded of when I did my very first gig as a Management Consultant.  The company I worked for paired me up with one of the wise old owls, whose job it was to show me the ropes, and make sure I didn’t say anything too stupid so as to jeopardize the relationship with the client.

His first bit of advice to me was, “never care more than the client.”  It was incredibly cynical, and incredibly valuable.  I am careful where, and to whom I repeat this advice, but many of the leaders suffering from manager stress I’ve coached over the years should heed this adage.

You can never be the only one who cares about something.  In fact, a key survival skill as a leader in the modern organization is to selectively not give a crap about a whole bunch of stuff.

I am reminded of a public sector client I once had who lamented to me that if they only had more resources, they could get so much more done.  I think she was genuinely shocked when I broke the ugly truth to her that she would never, ever have all the resources she wanted.  It never happens in the private sector, or the public sector – nor should it.

One of the key functions of a manager is to allocate the scarce resources of time, money and talent appropriately.  What separates great managers from the average and poor is their ability to manage the conversion of these resources to maximize the output of their group.

A great way to make yourself absolutely crazy as a manager in any organization is to try to get everything done that the company wants, as well as everything you want to do.  You need to draw your own line in the sand, and figure out what you need to do to be successful, and forget about much of the other stuff.  A great way to accelerate your journey to stress-leave, and make everyone around you hate your guts is to try to be all things to all people.

Of course, doing the above means you will spend a lot of time saying “no” to people, and risk not having anyone like you.  It’s called the burden of leadership, and it’s what you signed-on for once you gave up your individual contributor’s role.

So, to recap:

1)   Selectively don’t give a crap.

2)   You’re never going to have enough resources

3)   Don’t do much of the stuff you think you should be doing

4)   Don’t even attempt to keep everyone happy

5)   Your career as an organizational leader will result in you being in a constant state of marginal “pissed-off’edness”

Wow… that’s quite a bit different than the stuff they taught us in Business School.  But then again, how many Biz School Profs have ever had any success in running an actual business?

Top 10 Manager Challenges (Part B – Managing Stress)

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Top 10 Manager Challenges:
Here, we talk about the second five, all of which involve MANAGING STRESS
Constant Change
  • Don’t fight it – have a process
  • Provide change management skills to your people
  • Don’t enable other people’s resistance
  • Over-communicate during change

Babysitting

  • Don’t solve your employees problems for them when you shouldn’t
  • Allow people to make mistakes, and accept the consequences for those mistakes
  • Ensure appropriate consequences for all good and poor performance
  • Don’t get dragged into personality clashes
  • Be professional and calm at all times

Overload and Burnout

  • Be self-aware
  • Take breaks to stay healthy
  • Consider burning your blackberry/iPhone
  • Do not try to be all things to all people
  • Be very focused about what is most important
  • Delegate where you can

Red Tape and Administration

  • Consider what would happen if you ignored it
  • See you can get someone else to do it
  • If you can affect change, do so
  • If you can’t affect change, get it off your desk as quickly as possible
  • Place appropriate value on your time, and hire someone else if appropriate

Personal Fulfillment

  • Understand your connection to the final product
  • Realize that often managers don’t “do” anything
  • Get a hobby
  • Take pleasure in the small victories
  • Understand what motivates you, and give in to those guilty inner desires.

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Ace Your Annual Performance Review

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Why Things Go Wrong With Performance Appraisals
  • They are treated as an annual “event” rather than part of the ongoing feedback process.
  • People don’t prepare or dedicate the time necessary.
  • The giver and receiver of the feedback are from different planets
How Discrepancies Occur
  • You don’t fully understand the expectations
  • You measure performance by different “yardsticks”
  • You are delusional
How to Address Discrepancies
  • Know how performance is evaluated:
    • Goals & Objectives
    • 360
    • Behavioural Observation
    • Unstructured format
  • Ask to see the forms/format prior to review
  • Articulate expectations in writing
What If You Don’t Agree?
  • Raise objections professionally and stay calm
  • Ask for specific examples that led to a particular rating/comment
  • Escalate the matter if you have to, but be careful
Manage Perceptions All Year Long
  • Agree in advance on performance goals and metrics
  • Proactively upward manage your boss
  • Keep your own performance feedback file
  • Ask for feedback regularly and act on it

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A Guide to Ace Your Annual Performance Review

In many organizations, Annual Performance Reviews are about as popular as Ike at the Tina Turner Fan Club meeting.  They are done sporadically, if at all, and they typically have very little impact on organizational performance.

The last big multi-national corporate organization I worked for as an employee had a fascinating “system” for the annual performance review.  I would suggest it’s very typical to what is seen in other companies, so in the interests of demystifying the whole process, here is a list of definitions and translations to sort out some of the vernacular that accompanies the annual performance review:

Annual: In the case of the annual performance review, “annual” means maybe once every 18 to 24 months, or maybe never at all.

Performance Review Meeting: This is where both manager and employee avoid eye contact and share some awkward small talk before the boss launches into his/her diatribe of the last year in review.  Similar to a bad sitcom in format.

Coaching: This is the organizational equivalent of Batman.  You might see it late at night after a signal (usually a corporate memo) has been flashed, but if you see it at all, it will be in a poor light, and you’ll never be sure if it happened or not.

Developmental Opportunities: These are the things you will get fired for, if you don’t fix them.  If there were no employment laws, they would revert to what they used to be called: threats.

Pay for Performance: Managers who get along well with people, take the amount of discretionary salary dollars they have, and divide by the number of direct reports they have.  Managers who don’t care how well they get along with people give it to the people they like the most.  In the rarest of cases, there is a good measurement system in place that everyone understands, and it truly is pay for performance.  It is about as common as spotting a unicorn at the fall carnival.

Performance Appraisal Documents: This is a template that bears little resemblance to your actual job, written by someone in HR who has never worked in the core business.

Performance Review Meeting Preparation: This describes the immediate 30 seconds prior to the meeting starting

The Sandwich Method of Feedback: This is where poorly trained managers slip some “constructive” feedback in between two compliments.  For example, “Nice shoes; you’ve got some significant improvement to make on your analytical skills, but I like your socks.  Also known as the “Sh*t Filled Twinkie” method.

Performance Management Philosophy: This is the same affliction that causes writers of annual reports to declare, “Employees are our most important asset” without the implied disclaimer, “unless they cost us money, or otherwise inconvenience us.”

Seek the Employees View: This is the final 30 seconds of the meeting where the employee is expected to thank the supervisor for the constructive feedback, and declare his/her intentions to act on it.  Only trouble-makers would disagree with the feedback.  Under no circumstances should an employee ever speak his mind here.

I hope this translation helps.  For ideas on how to cope with, and ultimately succeed at your Annual Performance Review, download this week’s podcast.

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