A few years ago, I did a project with a company that was a joint venture between a British Company, an American Company, and a Canadian one.  It was in the Utility sector, so you would assume that very similar parent companies, from very similar countries would have no problem integrating their cultures.  This was an excellent example of why one should never assume.

The United States and Canada are both former colonies of the UK, and all three countries share a language (with respect to the one-third of Canadians who are French speakers).  How different could they be?

On Managing Conflict:

• Americans argue hard for their viewpoint, and ultimately get along at the end of the day
• The British are much more reserved and polite, but will express dissent.
• Canadians avoid conflict at all costs – often to their detriment

On Working Hours:

• Americans work 12 hours a day, and rarely take more than a few days off in a row
• The British work hard on a daily basis.  They also have 8 weeks vacation (holiday) per year, and take a minimum of two weeks off at a time.
• Canadians are about half way in between the two, unless there’s a hockey game on TV, in which case they go home early.

On Dealing with Governments (we were constantly moving people between the three countries)

• The American Government was a nightmare to work with.  They constantly change immigration rules, and won’t provide any reasons or justifications for doing so.
• The British Government was consistent, although highly bureaucratic and cumbersome in its process.
• The Canadian Government was consistent with its expressed goal of making it easy for skilled people to enter and work in that country.

On Language

• Americans speak “Microsoft English” – the easiest and most identifiable form of the language.
• The British contingent from England spelled some things differently, but otherwise communicated well.  The Scottish contingent constantly baffled all the rest of us with their use of the language.
• The Canadians sounded like the Americans; spelled like the British; and threw in some French spellings just to throw everyone else off.

On the Metric System

• The United States is the only country in the world that still uses the outdated and cumbersome Imperial Measurement system.
• The British were very frustrated when they hopped in their Audis and BMWs that the speed limit was 65mph, rather than 110 kph.
• The Canadians were baffled that 32 degrees was miserably cold, rather than miserably hot.

On “Entitlement Mentality”

• Americans don’t feel much entitlement, but rather feel the individual is responsible for his/her own circumstances.
• The British have some Entitlement Mentality – particularly when it came to the private American health care system. (“I have to pay for this!?!?”)
• The Canadians had a bad case of entitlement mentality.  Perhaps it was because most of the people working there had been government employees before the utility was privatized.

In the end, we managed to make this company work, but don’t ever underestimate cross-cultural issues even in seemingly similar cultures.

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Become a Wily Manager member and get instant access to even more information about Encouraging Conflict.  And don’t forget to sign up for our FREE Management Cheat Sheet Collection

Join Jed and Bob as they talk about why some conflict is good, and how you can encourage conflict amongst your team members.

Watch the ‘Constructive Conflict’ Video (14 mins 20 sec):

Join Jed and Bob as they discuss why and how progressive discipline should be undertaken in an organization.

Watch the ‘Progressive Discipline’ Video (15 mins 36 sec):

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Become a Wily Manager member and get instant access to even more information about Employee Discipline Procedures.  And don’t forget to sign up for our FREE Management Cheat Sheet Collection

There are lots of colloquialisms and metaphors used in business today that are “reaching” to say the least.  Sports analogies are very tired, and if I hear one more person talk to me about “low-hanging fruit”, there will be a Bob-shaped hole in the nearest door.

However the word, “weasel” is perfect for the type of behavior it describes in the workplace.  To that end, I’ve put together a list of the similarities between a weasel found in nature, and the weasel found in the workplace:

• A weasel is a rodent.  As such, they are a nuisance that needs to be weeded out and destroyed.
• When a weasel is threatened it becomes extremely aggressive, and potentially dangerous.
• They are small (in this case of the workplace weasel small-minded), but active predators.
• According to Wikipedia, weasels in nature have a reputation for cleverness and guile… not unlike the workplace weasel.
• Weasels are considered vermin because they stock poultry and rabbits used for commercial purposes.  The workplace weasel also undermines commerce – usually by more insidious means than stocking poultry.
• Weasels exist on all continents except Antarctica and Australia.  If there are any Wily Manager followers at the research station at Antarctica, I’d love to know if there are any workplace weasels.  I lived in Australia for a while, and while they may not have weasels, they have lots of other rodent vermin, which begs the question, “what do the Aussies call their workplace weasels?  Actually, I was once told that the Australian equivalent of the office-weasel was called a Kiwi, but after I visited New Zealand, I had to dismiss that as sour grapes on the part of my Aussie-informant.
• A group of weasels can be called a boogle, gang, pack, sneak, or confusion.  The workplace weasel, when s/he finds a support group, could also be called “sneak” or “confusion” (but I also like boogle).

All these similarities got me to questioning whether weasel remedies would be similar between the natural and workplace varieties.  Here, the parallels are a little more illusive, yet still instructive.  For example, you can set traps for weasels.  In nature, the bait is usually something to eat.  With workplace weasels, it might be a rumored promotion, but sometimes they might respond to good catering.

Suddenly, the song “Pop Goes the Weasel” makes so much more sense to me now.

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Become a Wily Manager member and get instant access to even more information about Inappropriate Behavior in the Workplace.  And don’t forget to sign up for our FREE Management Cheat Sheet Collection

Join Jed and Bob as they discuss how to deal with six different types of weasels commonly found in the workplace.  Learn how to handle The Backstabber, The Slacker, The Credit-Taker, and others.

Watch the ‘Dealing With Workplace Weasels’ Video (14 mins 56 sec):

I spent much of my early adult years working the graveyard shift in a grocery store to work my way through University.  I’m not really sure why any thinking employer would leave four or five twenty-year-olds unattended in the middle of the night with several hundred thousand dollars worth of inventory, but they did.  It’s a good thing we didn’t sell booze.

There was a camaraderie on the Night Crew that comes when a group of like-minded individuals works closely together.  All was fine until one of the guys figured out he was in charge.  I suspect the store manager worked night crew once himself, and knew it was a debacle, and figured out how to solve the problem:  make someone accountable.

This was fine, except that because he was accountable, he, in turn, wanted all of us to be accountable.  I didn’t want to be accountable, I wanted to be at home, in my bed, asleep.  This guy took us to task on the length of our breaks, and how many bananas we consumed in the middle of the night without ringing them through the register.

In short, he did exactly what he should have, as our boss.  The problem was, this guy was our buddy a short time ago, and all of sudden he was the boss.  What happened to all those drunken stoopers where we’d backstab the management bozos?  Now he was one of those management bozos.

In some cases, when two highly-professional people decide to make it work, a new boss and his/her former peers can make it work.  Most of the time, however, you have to choose between being a buddy or being a boss.

If you are doing your job well as a manager, you’re not there to make friends.  You’re there to do your job to the best of your ability, which occasionally may mean pissing off former peers.

The bottom line is if your friendships at work are really important to you, you may want to think long and hard about how badly you want that promotion to becoming the boss.

Join Jed and Bob as they discuss how this generation has been shaped, the expectations of Gen X at work, and most importantly, how to effectively lead this group.

Watch the ‘Generation Gap: Managing Gen X’ Video (14 mins 41 sec):

Download the  ”Generation X in the Workplace” Cheat Sheet, Video, Audio, and Slides

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Well, that’s kind of harsh – even if it is true for many leaders.  How did it come to this?  How did you manage your career so you could end up mediating between two employees who are applying death-threats to each other because one used the other’s Arthur Fonzarelli commemorative coffee mug, and never washed it?

None of us stood up in the first grade and announced to the world that we wanted to be a middle manager.  Yet, there are far more middle managers than there are police officers, fire-fighters and ballerinas combined.  And here you are a generation later with the title, “Manager” which entitles you to:

• 10% more pay than the two idiots arguing over the coffee mug
• longer working hours
• hypertension.

I remember being the manager of a supermarket, where I’d have to mediate such disputes as who had to check through the groceries.  Yep, that’s right – we had hired over 100 people into the job description, “cashier”, and I was constantly involved in battles over who had to check.  Weren’t we paying all of you to perform that function?

Or another employee who made a career out of torturing other people with comments such as:

• “I think you’ve put on weight”
• “You’ll probably be bald in another couple of years”
• “Why do you think it is that people don’t like you”

Of course, he always phrased these in such a way that he couldn’t be taken to task for harassment, but that didn’t stop the line-up of complaints about his behaviour.

I finally developed a coping strategy for these petty complaints that made me tremendously unpopular with everyone, but I enjoyed my job much more, and had way more time on my hands.  Unless I deemed the complaint to be something that would effect the viability of the business, or lead to an unacceptable amount of risk, I would tell people, “You need to sort this out on your own, because if you try to involve me, I guarantee no one is going to like the result”.

A threat?  Probably.

A survival strategy?  Definitely.

I’ve spoken in this space before about “the burden of leadership” that some managers have thought is a bit harsh.  I won’t back away from those comments, but I will say that petty complaints and conflicts are not part of any manager’s job – it’s a baby-sitter’s job.

The Manager’s job is often a thankless one, but it doesn’t have to be trivial, unless you allow it to be so.  This aspect of the manager’s job is timeless.

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Learn More About ‘How to Manage Conflict’

Wily Manager members, click here to access the members-only area for this topic (you must be logged in).  In the members-only area, you can:

• Watch the full length ‘How to Manage Conflict’ Video (15 minutes)
• Download the ‘How to Manage Conflict’ Video (mp4)
• Download the ‘How to Manage Conflict’ Audio (mp3)
• Download the ‘How to Manage Conflict’ Slides (ppt)
• Print or save the ‘How to Manage Conflict’ Cheat Sheet (pdf)
• Click through to Related Topics:
  • Difficult Conversations: You Smell and People Don’t Like You
  • Handling Emotional Behavior
  • Dealing With Difficult Employees
  • You’re Fired! How to Fire an Employee
  • Top 10 Manager Challenges: Part A (Managing Conflict)

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Become a Wily Manager member and get instant access to even more information about How to Manage Conflict.  And don’t forget to sign up for our FREE Management Cheat Sheet Collection

Conflict Management: Learn more about being self-aware; when a leader should act; not getting personal; and how to move forward.

Watch the ‘How to Manage Conflict: Help! I’m a Referee!’ video (12 mins 36 sec):

Download the ‘How to Manage Conflict’ Cheat Sheet, Video, Audio, and Slides

If you’re a regular visitor to this site, you’ll know we like The Office, Seinfeld, Saturday Night Live, and 30 Rock.  With only a few other exceptions, broadcast television is an incredible waste of time, and like other recreational drugs, should be used only occasionally and sparingly.

Interestingly, life on the corporate food-chain is not unlike a poorly written sitcom.  Perhaps that is why so many of them are set in the workplace.  Both the workplace and the crappy sitcoms have protagonists, antagonists, and usually some version of the mentally unbalanced.  Bad writing and poor acting are part of both as well.  Perhaps the only significant difference is that on a sitcom, big problems can neatly be wrapped up in 22 minutes, so there’s time to sell soap and give you a preview to next week’s silliness.

I decided to do some research for this post, so I sat for an evening to watch some sitcoms to make sure I hadn’t misplaced my contempt, and to bring myself up to date on some of the blubber being offered up on TV.

Apparently prime-time comedy is getting worse.  It is also apparent that one doesn’t need an abundance of talent to write this stuff, so Wily Manager proudly presents:

Manager in the Middle

Manager in the Middle is an innovative new sitcom from the people who bring you the Wily Manager weekly podcasts.  The primary character (yet to be named, pending focus group results) is a smart, but cheeky manager constantly being offset by his sadistic immediate supervisor.

The supervisor, Cruela (played by Jane Lynch) loves to pit one manager off against another believing this “healthy” competition will better help her run her business.  Our protagonist is also matrix-managed by a kind, cautious human-resource manager who always knows the right thing to do, but is unwilling to make a decision, and is incredibly conflict-adverse.

Our hero (played by Frankie Muniz (he’s all grown up now)) has four peer managers who all report to Cruella.  Rounding out the cast is:

• Vlad: The hard-working, smart, reliable foreigner who is easily pushed around for fear of losing his work visa (played by Fez from That 70s Show)
• Dianne: The single mom who is just trying to make it through the day, but is in constant conflict with Cruela, as she struggles to make it to the daycare on time to pick up her two kids.  Cruela would like to fire her for not working insane hours, but unfortunately (for Cruela) the work she does is outstanding.
• Don: The smarmy, but oddly likeable young single guy who doesn’t know near as much as he thinks he does.  He also loves to take credit for other people’s work.
• Vera: The jaded, cynical, sharp-tongued middle aged woman who has over ten years until retirement, but can tell you how many days are left in her working career.

Join us in the first episode when Cruela asks her team to stay late to meet a useless last minute request that everyone knows will go nowhere… and hilarity ensues.

Think we could get Fox to air it after Glee?

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1. Firing people
2. Disciplining people
3. Showdown with the boss
4. Being caught in the middle
5. Peer conflicts
6. Constant Change
7. Baby-sitting
8. Overload
9. Red Tape – Needless Administration
10. Personal fulfillment

• Only the perverse enjoy this part of the job
• Have a solid paper trail.  If you don’t have one – postpone the firing until you do*
• Get good advice – HR or legal
• Make the meeting short and to the point
• Never fire someone in anger or on the spot
• Do not put this off because it’s uncomfortable

Employee Discipline:

• Have a process
• Document every meeting
  • Formal or informal
  • Written or verbal
• Make consequences clear in advance of disciplinary action
• Have all the information at your disposal
• Have a witness – preferably someone from HR or legal

Showdown with the Boss:

• Insist on dealing with it in private
• Never bad-mouth the boss
• Consider whether s/he has a point
• Don’t make idle threats
• Reinforce that s/he is the boss, and you will ultimately do as they ask*
• Choose your battles carefully
• Move to resolution, not to perpetuate conflict

Being Caught in the Middle:

• Tow the party line – even when you don’t agree
• Explain the rationale as best you understand it
• Do not blame by pointing up the hierarchy
• Where appropriate act as a facilitator for a more favourable outcome
• Be very clear with your people as to what is negotiable and what is not

Peer Conflicts:

• Determine how important a peer relationship is to you, your department and your ability to be successful
• Figure out what they need/want from you
• Help them understand what you need/want from them, and why it is important
• Escalate the problem only as a last resort

Learn Even More About ‘Managing Conflict’

Wily Manager members, click here to access the members-only area for this topic (you must be logged in).  In the members-only area, you can:

• Watch the full length ‘Managing Conflict’ Video (15 minutes)
• Download the ‘Managing Conflict’ Video (mp4)
• Download the ‘Managing Conflict’ Audio (mp3)
• Download the ‘Managing Conflict’ Slides (ppt)
• Print or save the ‘Managing Conflict’ Cheat Sheet (pdf)
• Click through to Related Topics:
  • Difficult Conversations: You Smell and People Don’t Like You
  • Handling Emotional Behavior
  • Dealing With Difficult Employees
  • You’re Fired! How to Fire an Employee
  • Effective Interpersonal Communication
  • Top 10 Manager Challenges: Part B (Managing Stress)
  • How to Manage Conflict

Not a member yet? Join us now and get instant access! For more information about the advantages of becoming a Wily Manager member, visit Become a Member.

Become a Wily Manager member and get instant access to even more information about Managing Conflict.  And don’t forget to sign up for our FREE Management Cheat Sheet Collection

Of the top 10 things that make managers crazy, the first five all involve some kind of conflict.

Watch the ‘Top 10 Manager Challenges (Part A)’ video (21 mins 9 sec):

Download the ‘Top 10 Manager Challenges (Part A) Video (m4v)

Download the ‘Top 10 Manager Challenges (Part A) Audio (mp3)

Top10ChallengesPartA.ppt

Take a look at the ‘Top 10 Manager Challenges Part A’ Cheat Sheet

What are YOUR Conflict ‘Hot Buttons’? Take the online Conflict Dynamics Profile and get personalized feedback and a development guide.

OK… we’ll start this week by talking in code.  Even though the inappropriate word above is now widely used on network television, and even Bill Cosby has uttered it from his lips, I’m pretty sure if I repeat the word several times in one post, a number of firewalls will catch it, and I won’t be able to spread the gospel this week.

For our purposes, the code word will be “O-ring”.

I was once told that in this world there are two types of people:  Idiots and O-rings.  Your label is determined by your behaviour, and everyone has acted as both an idiot and an O-ring at various points in their lives.  Some particularly talented people have managed to be both simultaneously, earning the title “idiot-hole”.

When asked if I thought I was an idiot or an O-ring, I struggled for which term I found less offensive, and more importantly what sort of behaviour qualifies one for membership in each category.  The definition of “idiot” is reasonably clear.  Anytime you’ve made an unbelievably stupid choice, you qualify as an idiot.  In my case, I was clearly an idiot when I agreed to sit through a “short video presentation”  (with a complementary cocktail) when I was on vacation in Mexico many years ago.

The definition of O-ring is somewhat more illusive.  I canvassed a number of people to try to determine exactly what would qualify someone to be labeled an O-ring.  As it turns out whenever someone else does something we don’t like, they are an O-ring.  Case in point: traffic.  Of all the people driving within a 100km radius of your vehicle, there is you, and all the other O-rings on the road.

This revelation naturally led me to examine my own behaviour when I was an Operations Manager with many direct reports.  I arrived at the unmistakable conclusion that I was a tremendous O-ring.  I’m not talking about an occasional O-ring maneuver, but rather a full-time job of simply being an O-ring.  My entire work world was an infinite series of actions and decisions that at other people didn’t like.  If I could go back in time, I’d change my title to AC (O-ring in charge).

So, is it possible to be a manager without being an O-ring?  Probably not.  Would you want to be a manager that’s not an O-ring?  Only if you want to be an idiot.

This week we talk about how improving your ability to communicate constructively, you might avoid being labeled an O-ring.

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• Rarely will you be successful without the ability to “relate” effectively.
• Those who leave positive impressions get more done through and with others than those who leave negative impressions.

Listening

• Do you offer answers before the question has even been asked?
• Do you offer conclusions or solutions before hearing the whole story?
• Manage the first 3 minutes
  • Take in information
  • Ask questions
  • Active listening
  • Don’t interrupt

Body Language

Body language that will not help you relate well with others:

• Washboard brow
• The blank stare
• Looking at your watch or the I’m busy look
• Finger or pencil drumming

Body language that will help:

• Eye contact
• Smile
• Nodding while the person is talking
• Open body posture

Language

When you do start talking the key to leaving a positive impression is to replace conflict provoking language with language that sounds like you want to cooperate and work with the other person.

Blame

Assigning Blame or figuring our who’s at fault is rarely helpful

• Eliminate blaming statements
  • You aren’t listening.
  • If you had taken more care …
• Focus on figuring out a solution and moving forward
  • Let me try and explain this better …
  • What might we do differently in order to …

Commands

• In most situations people don’t like being told what to do.
• Be careful with direct or implied commands.
  • You should …
  • You ought to  …
  • You have to …
  • You need to …
• Instead try statements of options or choice.
  • Have you considered …
  • What if we were to …
• Making a request often lands better than a command.
  • Would you mind …
  • Could I ask you to …

Absolutes

Never use absolutes like “never” or “always” because they always:

• Result in the other person getting defensive.
• Are inaccurate.
• Examples:
  • This work is never finished on time.
  • This happens every time we talk.
  • You always …

Other Tips

• When you are frustrated your “gut” response will often cause problems.
  • Reflect, Restate and Respond.
• Check your Ego.
  • Don’t come across like you couldn’t possibly be wrong or the other persons idea couldn’t possibly work.
• Show you Care.
  • Take the time to get to know the other person.

Learn Even More About ‘Effective Interpersonal Communication’

Wily Manager members, click here to access the members-only area for this topic (you must be logged in).  In the members-only area, you can:

• Watch the full length ‘Effective Interpersonal Communication’ Video (15 minutes)
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• Download the ‘Effective Interpersonal Communication’ Audio (mp3)
• Download the ‘Effective Interpersonal Communication’ Slides (ppt)
• Print or save the ‘Effective Interpersonal Communication’ Cheat Sheet (pdf)
• Click through to Related Topics:
  • Difficult Conversations: You Smell and People Don’t Like You
  • Improve Your Public Speaking and Presentation Skills
  • Giving Quality Feedback
  • The Power of Persuasion: Selling Your Ideas

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Learn how to communicate most effectively through listening, word choice, and body language.

Watch the ‘So What If I’m an Asshole?’ video (23 mins 28 sec):

Download the ‘Effective Interpersonal Communication: So What If I’m an Asshole?’ Video (m4v)

Download the ‘Effective Interpersonal Communication: So What If I’m an Asshole?’ Audio (mp3)

Effective Interpersonal Communication Podcast Slides

Take a look at the ‘Effective Interpersonal Communication’ Cheat Sheet

In January of 1986, the space shuttle Challenger exploded on take-off killing all seven crew, and grounding the American space program for two years.  Of the exhaustive investigations that took place (that led to a significant number of changes for NASA, and how they conducted their business), perhaps the most important change was that for the first time, talking about changing corporate culture was fair game.

The engineers and investigators determined the technical causes of the explosion, but when they dug deeper to understand why those technical issues were not addressed in advance, they ended up in the uncomfortable place of changing corporate culture.  It turns out NASA had a culture whereby many qualified people knew there was a significant risk of disaster, but none chose to voice those concerns, even if they would have been listened to.

I call this an “uncomfortable” conclusion because highly technical people in any organization want to discuss things they can see, touch and/or count.  Changing corporate culture is something that nebulous and messy.  It’s difficult to define, impossible to measure, and probably the most important element of performance in an organization — as NASA found out the hard way.

So how do you go about changing corporate culture?

You don’t.

Much like Jerry Seinfeld dominated television with a show about nothing, organizations need to get about doing what they do.  I was recently in the NBC store in New York, more than a decade after Seinfeld left the air, and discovered that a significant portion of the wares were dedicated to Seinfeld’s “nothing”.  The Soup Nazi, Vandalay Industries, and Kramer’s hair all testify to the enduring quality of Seinfeld’s “nothing”.

Changing corporate culture is a lot like the show about nothing.  What people do, how they interact with each other, how they manage conflict, what gets rewarded, who gets promoted, how success is measured and a score of other things all add up to your corporate culture.

The silliest thing you can do is to declare a change in corporate culture to some virtue you read about at some other company.  The culture you have now is a product of the things above.  If you want to change your corporate culture, you need to address those things.

And don’t think it will happen in a hurry.  It will be a decade more before Seinfeld is replaced at the NBC store.

What can you do if you’re looking to change or strengthen your corporate culture?

Listen to the ‘Corporate Culture’ podcast:

: Download Podcast (MP3)

Corporate Culture Podcast Slides

Take a look at the ‘Corporate Culture’ Cheat Sheet

Become a Wily Manager member and get instant access to even more information about Being a Better Boss.  And don’t forget to sign up for our FREE Management Cheat Sheet Collection.

Why care about Leadership?

• Retention – Unwanted turnover = 1.5 – 2.5 annual salary
• Capturing Discretionary Effort  – What the value of 10% more productivity?  How about 100% more?
• Less stress

Realities of being the Boss

• You are under a microscope
• The blame you get, and the credit you get are both exaggerated
• Most people land in leadership roles because they were good technicians or practicioners of their work
• Leaders underestimate the impact they have on others

5 Things you can do right now to be a better Boss

1. Be a better listener

• Take the time
• Don’t multitask (especially PDAs)
• Seek to understand… not to plan your response
• Paraphrase without being a parrot

2. Be a Teacher

• It may take more time in the short-run
• Don’t micro-manage
• Tell people why
• Connect them to something bigger

3. Give and receive feedback in abundance

• Look for opportunities to offer feedback on a daily basis
• Ask your direct reports for feedback frequently – and act on it
• Offer both positive feedback, and corrective feedback

4. Be crystal-clear in your expectations

• Write important expectations down formally at least once per year
• Constantly reinforce expectations
• Use several different media to describe important expectations
• Practice what you preach at all times

5. Provide consequences for both good and poor performance

• People will do what gets reinforced
• You are currently getting the performance you are asking for
• Be absolutely consistent with consequences
• Apply consequences to reinforce both good and poor performance

Learn Even More About ‘Good Boss, Bad Boss: Be a Better Boss’

Wily Manager members, click here to access the members-only area for this topic (you must be logged in).  In the members-only area, you can:

• Listen to the ‘Good Boss, Bad Boss: Be a Better Boss’ Podcast (15 minutes)
• Download the ‘Good Boss, Bad Boss: Be a Better Boss’ Audio (mp3)
• Download the ‘Good Boss, Bad Boss: Be a Better Boss’ Slides (ppt)
• Print or save the ‘Good Boss, Bad Boss: Be a Better Boss’ Cheat Sheet (pdf)
• Click through to Related Topics:
  • Conducting Effective Meetings
  • How to Coach When You’re Not the Expert
  • The One on One Meeting
  • Dealing With Difficult Employees
  • Delegation
  • High Impact Development
  • ABC’s of Performance Management
  • The Situational Leadership Model
  • Giving Quality Feedback
  • Help! I’m a Micro Manager
  • Millennials in the Workplace: How to Lead and Motivate Generation Y
  • Retention of Employees

Not a member yet? Join us now and get instant access! For more information about the advantages of becoming a Wily Manager member, visit Become a Member.

Become a Wily Manager member and get instant access to even more information about Being a Better Boss.  And don’t forget to sign up for our FREE Management Cheat Sheet Collection

5 things you can do right now to be a better boss.

Listen to the ‘Good Boss, Bad Boss’ podcast:

: Download Podcast (MP3)

Good Boss, Bad Boss Podcast Slides

Take a look at the ‘Good Boss, Bad Boss: Be a Better Boss’ Cheat Sheet

Find out all about the Wily Manager Leadership Boot Camp:

• Why bother?
• What it’s about
• Who should participate
• How it works
• What’s covered

Listen to the ‘Leadership Boot Camp’ Podcast:

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We’ve heard many managers compare their jobs to that of baby-sitter.  The only difference being when the kids upset you, you can send them to their room, and the snacks and TV-watching options are better for the baby-sitter.

It is true that managers of people get dragged into all kinds of trivia, and much of it should be ignored.  There seems to be no more emotional issue than that of the office layout.  Several years ago, people were mourning the loss of office walls, as many organizations transitioned to cube-farms.  Now people fight over the size and location of their workstation.

Unfortunately, most managers have very little time/patience/control over the office configuration, so the best they might be able to do is offer some advice to disgruntled cube-dwellers as to how to cope with the physical office reality.  Here are some ideas:

Define Your Office Boundaries. This worked for Les Nessman at WKRP, and it can work for you.  Don’t acknowledge anyone unless they knock at your pretend door, and certainly don’t put up with people walking through your pretend walls.  You might even want to suspend wall paintings from the ceiling to line up with your pretend walls.

Engage in Closed Office Behaviour.  Make loud personal telephone calls.  If you feel the need for a nap, close your pretend door and sleep like you would at home (unless you sleep in the nude).  Need to pick your nose?  You’re in the privacy of your own office – go for it.  If someone tries to talk to you through a pretend wall, look towards the pretend door, and shout, “I can’t hear you.  Would you like to come in here?”

There’s No Place Like Home. Most people spend more conscious hours in their workplace than they do in their homes.  You need to make the place comfortable.  Buy a portable fridge to put under your desk, as well as some small kitchen appliances (start with a toaster, blender, and espresso machine).  You probably don’t control much in your work-place, so make your 8 X 8 part of the empire a castle.

Of course with this new-found freedom, you will also have to respect and ignore others engaging in the same behaviour if the illusion is to be complete.  Here’s a YouTube clip on office layout that outlines the perils of being too interested in what’s happening one row over on the cubefarm.

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Office Types:

• Enclosed Offices
• Open Space Concept
• Cubicle Farms
• Alternative

Why Getting Out of Offices is Great:

• More and better communication amongst team members
• More direct contact – you end up knowing people better
• Space can be modified quickly and easily
• Usually people have more access to natural light
• Some companies have found it reduces cost because you can put more cubes per floor than offices. (Cisco reduced costs by 37%)
• It’s harder for employees to slack off

Why it Sucks:

• Over communicate any office-space change.  This is a very big deal to people
• Be very clear about your reasons for making a change, and make sure you consider the pro’s and con’s
• You need much more meeting space in an open concept than with offices
• Hire someone to help you through the transition
• Ensure white-noise
• If you go open – everyone must go, from the CEO on down
• Research it well – there is no shortage of information arguing both for and against open office space

One Solution:

• If employees spend the majority of their time working individually, put them in offices
• If employees spend a great deal of time collaborating, put them in an open office configuration.  Perhaps in offices of four to eight people.
• If you want you employees to spend most of their time reading Dilbert, put them in cubicles.

Last Word from Robert Probst:

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What’s the best type of office design?  Enclosed offices?  Open space concept?  Cube farms?

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How do you tell someone they smell? Or that they need to stop handing out religious pamphlets at work?  Maybe an employee dresses inappropriately at work.  Perhaps an employee’s spouse calls the workplace several times per day.  What about your assistant’s drinking problem?

You could do what some managers do:  ignore the behaviour and hope it goes away.  Now, hope rarely works as a strategy to solve a problem, but let’s give it a try and see what happens:

They Smell:  If you don’t act they’ll keep smelling.  If you’re in a retail business, you’ll almost certainly lose customers.  If the aroma is only affecting co-workers who have brought the problem to your attention, they will know for sure that you don’t care and/or that you lack the courage to deal with a relatively simple problem.

An employee is pushing an opinion or unwanted material on co-workers.  This one is a bit more tricky  — you need to balance an individual’s right to speak freely with his coworker’s right to not be harassed at work.  This one is a level of degrees, but suffice it to say that if you’ve received complaints, the behaviour is probably already perceived as being too aggressive.

An employee is dressed inappropriately.  When I was in university, I worked for a retailer who had a strict dress code.  This included a ban on earrings for male employees.  This was fine until one of the senior executive’s sons showed up with an earring, and the facility manager would not address it for fear of reprisal.  Now, there are a whole bunch of things wrong with this scenario, but needless to say, when the manager displayed his cowardice in this regard, he had a facility full of male employees wearing earrings out of protest within a month.  Rightly or wrongly, the dress code fell apart, and the manager lost all credibility.

In these, and in perhaps most cases, it can look (at least at the outset) that it is easier to NOT engage in these difficult conversations.  In the short term, it probably is easier.  Longer term, you create all kinds of problems for yourself as a manager if you don’t tackle difficult conversations.  You erode trust, you lose credibility, and frankly you’re not doing your job as a leader.  Consider this one of the “burdens of leadership”.

If you want help with this difficult part of the job, listen to our podcast, and visit our page on Difficult Conversations.

How do you tell someone that they have bad breath or that they didn’t get the promotion?

Listen to the ‘Difficult Conversations’ podcast:

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Symptoms of Micro-Managers:

• Highly Controlling – wants to oversee every aspect of the work
• Power-Hungry – enjoys “flexing muscles” to ensure everyone knows s/he is the boss
• Makes all the decisions – no matter how minor

Why are They Like This?

• Insecurity – may be unsure of their own ability in the job
• Power-crazed – may use their position to feel self-important
• Perfectionist – may need every aspect of the job to be as close to perfect as possible
• Not a Leader – may have been a great individual contributor, but has moved to a leadership role without requisite training

What Can I Do About It?

1. Upward Manage

• Schedule and structure one on one meeting times with your boss
• Determine what is most important to him/her, and contribute to those priorities
• Talk about what you plan to do in the coming week, and get feedback in advance
• Don’t ever surprise your boss

2. Get a Performance Agreement

• Define boundaries of authority.
• Agree on a work plan that defines outcomes and methods
• Agree on the top 3 – 7 priorities
• Link your performance goals clearly to your bosses goals

3. Learn to Say “No”

• Always say “Yes” before saying “No”
• Acknowledge their position as the boss
• Refer to your Performance Agreement
• If you think a request is unreasonable, try to negotiate.  Educate him/her as to the nature of the request
• Describe the impact a request may have on you without complaining
• Carefully manage your tone

Learn Even More About ‘My Boss is a Micro Manager’

Wily Manager members, click here to access the members-only area for this topic (you must be logged in).  In the members-only area, you can:

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• Click through to Related Topics:
  • Help! I’m a Micro Manager
  • How to Manage Up Without Brown Nosing
  • Top 10 Manager Challenges: Part A (Managing Conflict)

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What do you do if you work for a micromanager?

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A 2009 Swedish study tracking 3,122 men for ten years found that those with bad bosses suffered 20 to 40 percent more heart attacks than those with good bosses.

Wow – glad I’m not Swedish.  I’m actually looking for the complementary study that shows how bad employees shorten a supervisor’s lifespan.  Maybe Hell really is other people.

So – is there any truth to the above study, or is it more silliness cranked out by academics looking to dabble in the real world by grabbing a headline?  I’m sure the research would speak for itself, but what is instructional about its findings?

No one would dispute that stress will kill you, but how does a bad boss equate to stress?  The obvious thing to do here is to list off all the poor qualities of a bad boss, and draw a parallel between their bad behaviour and their employees’ stress.  In reality, stress merely exists, and our reaction to it makes it unhealthy.

So I am willing to believe that a bad boss will kill me, but only if I give him/her enough control over me that I react poorly to the stress they are generating.  I can’t control their behaviour, but I most certainly can control my own behaviour, and my reaction to theirs.

Or I could move to Sweden.  I hear it’s nice.

At the risk of coming across like The Cranky Middle-Manager, I have a couple of grievances to air on how people interact with each other in the workplace.  It seems that people claiming that they work in a “toxic environment” is all the rage as of late.  In a minimum of cases, this may be truth, but in far more circumstances, it seems as though anytime someone doesn’t smile at you at the water cooler, you’re entitled to claim a horrible work situation.

The truth is that anytime you are in a workplace of more than one person, there are going to be disagreements and compromises.  And contrary to much of the hype you read in the popular media, sometimes work will be a drag.  To quote Jed’s dad, “If it was supposed to be fun, they wouldn’t call it work.”

I believe the root cause of this problem, is most people’s incompetence in dealing with conflict.  Many people believe that conflict is bad, when in fact it is neither good nor bad, but merely exists.  People’s response to conflict can make the situation bad.

Some people respond to conflict by becoming aggressive and overbearing.  Others choose to avoid conflict like it was a toilet seat at the bus station.  Both responses are destructive and will not improve or resolve whatever situation has caused the conflict to emerge.

Interestingly, in my experience I see the most common response to conflict to be one of either avoiding or yielding.  Both are poor responses to conflict in almost all cases.  If you are inclined to respond to conflict in this way, it is time to grow a pair and act like an adult.  Issues need to be confronted and dealt with.

It doesn’t mean you are always going to get your way, but at the very least you will have some confidence that you have attempted to constructively resolve workplace conflict, rather than letting it get pushed underground to fester.

I found this clip on YouTube that is a hilarious/sad commentary on many workplaces.  Happy Viewing.

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Before You Fire

• Have you done everything reasonably possible to have the employee succeed?
• Has the employee been warned that their poor behavior or performance will lead to termination if not corrected?  Are these warnings in writing?
• Consult with your legal council and HR to determine whether the termination is ‘with just cause’ or ‘without just cause’
• In cases of ‘with cause’ have you completed an investigation and got the employees side of the story?
• With the help of Legal or HR prepare the letter or ‘separation agreement’

Be Respectful

• Have the conversation as soon as possible after making the decision to terminate
• Select neutral territory, preferably where you can be as discreet as possible
• Plan to allow the employee to depart with as much dignity as possible
• Provide appropriate transitional support

Doing the Deed

• Have someone with you to witness the conversation, preferably HR or another manager
• Keep the discussion quick and to the point
• Don’t defend or debate the decision

Learn Even More About ‘You’re Fired! How to Fire an Employee’

Wily Manager members, click here to access the members-only area for this topic (you must be logged in).  In the members-only area, you can:

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• Click through to Related Topics:
  • Dealing With Difficult Employees
  • Difficult Conversations: You Smell and People Don’t Like You
  • ABC’s of Performance Management
  • Handling Emotional Behavior
  • Top 10 Manager Challenges: Part A (Managing Conflict)
  • How to Manage Conflict

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Far smarter people than me have written about what is required for effective leadership, but this week I have been reflecting upon the most necessary ingredient:  courage.

I have had the pleasure of interacting with many leaders of varying quality over many years, and all of them have at least a few obvious strengths, but the common denominator in the truly outstanding leaders, are those who handle awkward, difficult or downright scary situations head-on.  They don’t always get it right the first time, but the outstanding leader does not back down because she fears reprisal from her boss, peers, direct reports or some other stakeholder.

It is amazing how many people have a strong need to liked by those who report through to them.  The relationship between a boss and his/her employees should always be respectful, but it does not need to be friendly.  Many leaders hate to deliver bad news, or say “no” to people.  Other leaders won’t deal with performance issues because it might involve a difficult conversation, or let an employee who should have been fired years ago get away with perpetual sub-par performance.

This is exquisite BS.

It is a form of dishonesty, and certainly demonstrates a lack of integrity when leaders fail to engage in difficult conversations.  Progressive organizations have figured this out, and gotten rid of managers who are afraid to get rid of people.

The right thing to do is rarely the easy thing to do, but it is the burden of leadership.  If you are too chicken$hit to do the right thing, then you should either grow a pair, or wait to be fired.  The choice is yours

Learn the 5 steps to delivering quality feedback.

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Why should you give feedback?

• To confirm a course of action, performance or behavior
• To correct specific behavior or performance
• To have a behavior or performance carry on
• Use as a performance management tool to enhance performance

There are 5 steps for giving quality feedback:

Step 1: Context Tell them what you’re going to tell them

• Tell them what’s coming – don’t leave them guessing
• Don’t just start talking, and leave them to figure it out on their own
• “I’d like to offer some feedback on…”

Step 2: Clarify Describe in specific, measurable and observable terms and tell them why it’s important

• Generalities don’t work
• Have your facts straight
• Describe observable behaviors
• Use measures wherever possible
• Tell them why this is important
• What is the impact on you and on others?
• How does it relate to high level goals and objectives

Step 3: Create Ask for feedback on the feedback and brainstorm actions to improve or do better

• Ask lots of questions
• Guide them through the feedback
• Give an opportunity to respond
• Brainstorm actions to improve or do better

Step 4: Confirm Agree on action steps forward, and determine exactly what will happen next

• Make sure you agree on what will happen next, even if it is to maintain the status quo
• Reinforce continued good performance
• Describe what future outcomes you’d like to see

Step 5: Close Express confidence and support

• Everyone should leave the meeting with a clear idea of what they need to do next
• Reinforce your confidence in the recipients ability to be successful
• Describe how you will support them in their efforts to improve

Learn Even More About ‘Giving Quality Feedback’

Wily Manager members, click here to access the members-only area for this topic (you must be logged in).  In the members-only area, you can:

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• Click through to Related Topics:
  • How to Coach When You’re Not the Expert
  • Dealing With Difficult Employees
  • Difficult Conversations: You Smell and People Don’t Like You
  • ABC’s of Performance Management
  • Good Boss, Bad Boss: Be a Better Boss
  • Effective Interpersonal Communication

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Learn the 5 critical steps you need to follow when confronted with emotional behavior at work.

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Learn how to deal with ANY type of diffult behavior…as well as 6 specific types of bad behavior you are likely to encounter.

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For most managers, ‘people issues’ consume the largest portion of time and effort.  No employee is more time consuming than one exhibiting difficult behaviour.  For this reason, building skills to cope with difficult people has an immediate and measureable return.

Everyone displays difficult behaviour at one time or another.  People often engage in difficult behavior because such action has worked for them in the past.  There are very specific techniques that managers can use to address difficult behaviour.  Some specific behaviours require certain responses, but for all difficult behaviours:

• Focus on the specific behaviour, not the person or personalities
• Identify the type of behaviour, and strategize a response before reacting
• Attempt to understand the root cause of the behavior
• Avoid public showdowns
• Determine if the conversation can continue at that time, and postpone it if emotions are running high
• Be aware of the impact of the behavior is having on you
• Don’t make excuses for the person
• Choose to do something about the behavior

Not all the Turtles make it to the Sea

In some cases a difficult person will not respond to reasonable attempts to assist them in correcting their behavior, and organizational health can be at stake.  In such a case, high integrity leaders must make the unpleasant choice to part company with that person.

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The Dealing with Difficult Employees topic bundle includes:

• Dealing with Difficult Employees Cheat Sheet (pdf)
• Dealing with Difficult Employees Booklet (pdf) containing:
  • In-Depth Topic Overview
  • How to Deal with People Who Love to ARGUE
  • How to Deal with People Who Feel Unreasonably ENTITLED
  • How to Deal with People Who Think They KNOW IT ALL
  • How to Deal with Chronic PESSIMISTS or BLAMERS
  • How to Deal with People Who DON’T WANT TO WORK
  • How to Deal with the UNMOTIVATED
  • How to Deal with a BULLY
  • How to Deal with People Who ALWAYS ARGUE and people Who Can NEVER MAKE A DECISION
  • Recommended Resources – where to find out even more about Dealing with Difficult Employees

• Dealing with Difficult Employees Podcast (mp3)
• Dealing with Difficult Employees Podcast slides (Powerpoint)

Get the complete ‘Dealing with Difficult Employees’ topic bundle now – IMMEDIATE DOWNLOAD!

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Nothing changes your day so quickly as unexpected emotional behaviour.  It is primal in its delivery, and a manager’s response is also often primal.  By identifying it for what it is, and developing coping strategies in advance, a leader is less likely to blindsided by emotional behavior, and can salvage the situation at hand.

When you are confronted by emotional behavior there are 3 things to manage simultaneously:

• The behavior itself
• The content or root cause of the behavior which may be a serious issue requiring attention
• The impact the negative behavior is having on you

Different types of emotional behavior require different responses, but here are some universal rules to help cope with highly emotive situations:

Determine if the conversation can proceed in a constructive way. In cases where emotions are running extremely high, the very best course of action, may be to adjourn the conversation until cooler heads prevail.

Be aware of the impact the behavior is having on you. It is important to quickly analyze your own state of mind before reacting.  If you find yourself extremely agitated or otherwise emotionally compromised, you need to quickly determine how that will impact the quality and outcome of the conversation.

Articulate to the other person how you are being affected by the behavior. Often people become angry or otherwise emotional, and do not realize the impact they are having upon others.  Many times the situation can be partially diffused by describing the impact of the behavior.  For example, “I have to be honest and let you know that this conversation is making me feel quite defensive, and I don’t like feeling that way.”  Note that you should not say, “YOU are making me defensive”, but rather focus on the situation.

Ensure the other person knows s/he has been heard. It is not necessary to agree with the other person, but it is important to let them know that you have heard and understand their message.  Again, just by acknowledging their viewpoint, the situation may be largely defused.

Propose a path to resolution. It is important to redirect the energy of the emotional behavior into some form of resolution.  If the other person is just venting, then you need to decide to what degree you will indulge this before terminating the conversation.  Otherwise, you should engage the other person in determining a path forward and moving towards resolution of their issue.

Dealing with emotional behavior is something every manager will face at one point or other.  It is never easy, but by keeping in mind the things above, a tense situation can be made easier.

Learn Even More About ‘Handling Emotional Behavior’

Wily Manager members, click here to access the members-only area for this topic (you must be logged in).  In the members-only area, you can:

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• Click through to Related Topics:
  • Top 10 Manager Challenges: Part A (Managing Conflict)
  • Giving Quality Feedback
  • Dealing with Difficult Employees
  • Difficult Conversations
  • How to Manage Conflict

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Unless you’ve been living alone in a cave most of your life, you will have had to conduct a difficult conversation with someone. If you’re a leader of people, tough talks are a job requirement. You can avoid them, but it will be at your own peril. Sooner or later you’ll need to address that difficult situation.

How to conduct a Difficult Conversation:

Step 1 – Prepare and Anticipate

• Prepare in advance – anticipate responses. Make sure you are dealing with complete information
• Explain but don’t defend
• Make sure any issue you are dealing with does not have legal ramifications (termination, harassment, violence in the workplace etc.)
• Don’t think it’s not going to be uncomfortable. Mentally prepare for the discomfort the situation may cause you.

Step 2 – Focus on Facts and Observable Behaviors

• Focus on observable behaviors and facts, not the person. “People don’t like you”, is much different than “People don’t like it when talk loud on the phone.”
• Focus on the issue at hand – don’t get dragged into irrelevant parallel issues.

Step 3 – Showtime: Manage the Confrontation

• Get to the point – eliminate the small talk, and move to your point quickly. Often the best course of action is to make it clear in your first sentence what the other person should expect.
• Do not engage in any tough talk if you are emotionally compromised at the moment. Adjourning the conversation is a legitimate course of action if either party is excessively emotional, but keep in mind that by deferring the conversation you are prolonging an unpleasant event.
• Stick to your guns unless emergent facts cause you to want to reconsider. If the recipient is feeling badly, that does not count as an emergent fact.
• If there are specific behaviors required of the other person, ensure those are well understood.

Learn Even More About ‘Difficult Conversations’

Wily Manager members, click here to access the members-only area for this topic (you must be logged in).  In the members-only area, you can:

• Listen to the ‘Difficult Conversations’ Podcast (15 minutes)
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• Print or save the ‘Difficult Conversations’ Cheat Sheet (pdf)
• Click through to Related Topics:
  • The One on One Meeting
  • Handling Emotional Behavior
  • Dealing With Difficult Employees
  • Top 10 Manager Challenges: Part A (Managing Conflict)
  • Giving Quality Feedback
  • Good Boss, Bad Boss: Be a Better Boss
  • How to Manage Conflict

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